Wolly and the Teev

The Golden Globes LiveBlog

2008-01-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

First Thoughts: Life

2007-09-27T11:51:00.000-04:00

My enthusiasm for Life is only tempered by the fact that I know that the show will fail and be cancelled within a month. With minimal PR, at least in comparison to Chuck and Bionic Woman, I imagine that not even NBC has high hopes for Life. Which is surprising, since it's better than Chuck and anything else new I've seen so far this week.

I've been a big fan of Damian Lewis since I first watched Band of Brothers. Capt./Lieut. Dick Winters was the glue of the series, keenly touching on the themes of virtue and duty while not being stuffy or jingoistic. His scenes with Ron Livingston as the comic foil were some of the best non-action moments of the program.

So I was of course more than excited to see him pop up as the lead actor of Life, and he exceeded my expectations. Part Rain Man, part Monk... Lewis' Det. Charlie Crews is peculiar, partial to Zen-like nonsensical sayings, yet interesting. The story behind his odd behaviors is the 12 years he spent in prison, getting beaten up (prison-style) as a former cop convicted of murder. The pilot played off of his past quite well...and his ignorance over modern technology wasn't gimmicky...it was actually rather amusing.

I didn't know from the previews that Life would be more of a procedural drama, which brings it down a notch for me, since procedurals are usually television's version of Mad Libs. I'll be curious to see how they balance the "find out who framed me" plotline with the weekly crime scene procedural stuff. If they strike a strong middle ground, Life is definitely a keeper for me.

And my only other criticism is the lazy "documentary" interviews that were inserted into the pilot. It's a lazy way to present exposition, and it rarely works as a plot device. Look at Entourage's "Behind the Scenes of Medellin" episode as another example of a flawed mockumentary.

Show us actual scenes with Crew's former partner or his attorney...they do a much better job of developing character and backstory than a silly head-on interview can do.

Also...is Adam Arkin really this desperate? I mean, he was great in his role and all, I'd just think that he could get some meatier roles with his resume. And the MILF neighbor from FNL plays the lawyer...does this mean we won't have to endure the annoying cuteness of Bo Miller, the brat next door? Cause that would make me even MORE pumped for next week.

First Thoughts: Cane

2007-09-26T16:52:00.000-04:00

Ah. First day of school...Opening Day...Midnight Madness...and the first disappointment of the fall TV season.

I shouldn't be all that surprised, after all, that Cane was boring and unimpressive. It's a soap opera trying to be like the Sopranos, but its on network TV, so it will be lobotomized and watered down. I should have called it, but I was blinded by the residual good feelings of Jimmy Smits as Rep. Matt Santos from the West Wing.

Actually, that was part of the problem with Cane. If you're going to have a drama about a family in a cutthroat business, then you better have some characters who are cutthroat. Hector Elizando needed to wake out of his Princess Diaries stupor and grow some business sense...or at least seem like someone who would be a hardass to worth with. The only character with any sense of ferocity is the "villain"...who is so one-dimensional that he's laughable.

Milquetoast is probably the one word I'd use to describe Cane. The flashbacks, filmed in sepia tones, even, were so poorly done that I thought I'd switched channels to Lifetime. The preview for the rest of the season made Cane look even worse...why they are fixating on the murder of Quinones, the man who killed Elizondo's daughter decades earlier, is bizarre.

While some people criticized The Sopranos for rarely having corpses come back to haunt the mob family, I appreciated that you never quite knew what would happen next, and that the Mafia operated on a different level of legality than everyone else.

If the Vega/Duque family are even worth caring about, then they need to be powerful enough to be above the law. Otherwise, they're as boring as watching molasses move. I'm done with this one.

First Thoughts: Reaper

2007-09-25T23:26:00.000-04:00

So remember how I wrote yesterday that Chuck had the problem of being derivative and seemingly unoriginal? That was nothing compared to Reaper, which is pretty much exactly what you would expect if a lower-budget network like the CW tried to rip-off Chuck. The similarities between the shows are depressing and make Reaper just look lame in comparison.

Unfulfilled potential in main lead actor? Check (or should it be Chuck?) Wise-cracking sidekick? Check. Unattainable female lead? Check. Mockery of Big-Box stores? Check. Lead actor has unexplained mental powers? Check. Sigh.

I wouldn't have even considered watching the show had Ian (yay!) not auspiciously mentioned how excited he was for its premiere and that it was "one of the best reviewed new shows" of the season. And, its not as if this were Kid Nation and I wish had my hour back, but I'm mostly shrugging off Reaper as a failed attempt at a bizarre premise for a show.

The lead actor, Bret Harrison, does his best to make Sam unexceptional and uninteresting...and it strains incredulity that he would be uncomfortable around his hot female co-worker (who could have been Hillary Swank had she been attractive). Yes, it's odd that in a series about a 21-year-old (and Sam looks like he's 25 years old, because he IS) whose soul is sold to the devil, the part that makes me pause the most is the unspoken love between two of the lead characters.

Missy Peregym, the shapeshifter from last year's season of Heroes, is a fine actress...I just have a hard time believing that she'd be single and mopey. Hot people can't be sad...at least, thats what I like to tell myself.

The saddest part about Reaper is the missed opportunity with Ray Wise as Applegate, Beezlebub, The Devil. As the best part of 24's Season Five, Wise's presence was underused in the pilot, and I hope for his sake that he gets a bigger role in later episodes. The best role in Damn Yankees is Applegate...Good Ol' Days is a ham-handed showstopper, but the character is rife with opportunities to chew the scenery. Why not let Wise take over the spotlight wasted on Bret Harrison?

Lastly, the special effects were awful. This was one of the many things that confused me about Buffy's popularity...where the special effects struck me as second-rate. The scene with the arsonist was laughable in its melodrama, especially when you compare it to the effects from Heroes or Chuck.

What were your thoughts on the zamboni thing? I was cracking up at the audacity of it....but seemed out of sync with the tone of the rest of the show. If they're going dark comedy, with Wise as the star, then there's still hope.

First Thoughts: Big Bang Theory

2007-09-25T22:14:00.000-04:00

Dorks are all the rage this season, or at least, on Mondays around 8:30 pm. Enter this scripted...er...comedic...er...sit-com version of "Beauty and the Geek" starring the second best part of "8 Simple Rules", Kaley Cuoco, and a few other guys including the Nicholas Cage impersonator from Studio 60. So, he's gotten a promotion.

Speaking of Studio 60 remembrances, the nameless, speechless Asian character from that show ended up on Chuck as a member of the Nerd Herd. And she actually spoke! Another promotion!

I believe it has been Ian who has said that pilots are often a poor way to judge a TV show, which is kind of like judging a restaurant during its first two weeks. I say that because there was a lot of repetition in the types of jokes told, as if the writers needed to browbeat the premise into our brains. I'll give the show another episode or two, mostly because of Jim Parsons.

He has great comedic timing and fits his character perfectly, reminding me of David Hyde Pierce's scene-stealing performances as Niles Crane on Frasier. Sadly, Johnny Galecki as Parson's roommate, is not very good and does little to build up the empathy I'll need to feel sorry for him when Kaley finds ways to reject him frequently, yet gracefully.

For tips...he should check out Chuck. Dork power.

First Thoughts: Chuck

2007-09-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

So I'm a day late with my first post of premiere week, but it took a tad long to help a friend move, so forgive me.

We start things off with Chuck, which in spite of a full-speed ahead ad campaign that aimed to make a smart show look as stupid as possible (think the opposite of Studio 60), was actually very very good. It's my early favorite for the best new show of the season.

Even though lead-man Zachary Levi (Jew!) borrows too many of his mannerisms from John Krasinski of The Office (good) and Jimmy Fallon (unspeakable), he really pulls off the endearing and charming qualities of Chuck, which in a few words describes the show overall: endearing and charming.

The only problem I have so far is that everything seems derivative or it reminds me of someone else. Chuck's character takes the idealism (and occupation) of Steve Carrell from 40-Year-Old Virgin and the unfulfilled potential and sense of humor of Jim from The Office. His goofy sidekick is the pathetic (in a good way) lovechild of Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy. The CIA love interest is your typical blonde bombshell (see: Christine Taylor or Paula Kruger).

As for last night's ep, it set up the premise of the show rather well while still leaving many loopholes in logic...that will hopefully be explained in upcoming shows. Why Bryce picked Chuck of all people to send the CIA's secrets to is perhaps the biggest question out there. I do like the comic potential of having the NSA guy working at NotBestBuy, so consider me excited for the next episode of Chuck.

Score one for NBC's Monday night.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part III

2007-09-16T22:02:00.000-04:00

Finally, we're done with all the movie and miniseries awards. Seacrest is STILL awful.

10:04 Masi Oka is great...and he's talking about computers. OOOH, dorks on their computers, or should I say....Macs. Masi better watch out...Al Gore is ocming on stage, and he WANTS TO EAT YOU. My God gore is fat....and green. He gets a standing O, way to live up to your stereotypes of being hippies.

Ah, Al Gore. Proof that there is something more boring than hearing the President of the Academy speak.

10:07 It's the cast of Til Death making a bad sex joke...followed by a great cleavage joke. Followed by a really mean joke, followed by a great Charlie Sheen joke. Talk about an uneven performance. They keep going, a bad craigslist joke, and a good Sen. Craig joke.

Despite the horribleness that is Everybody Loves Raymond, I'm prepared to believe that Brad Garrett is actually funny.

They're up their to give the award for best performance in a comedy/variety show: Tony Bennett, of course. This is terrible... my only consolation is that Colbert will be funnier because of it.

I had to root for Tony Bennett, who then came on and mumbled something about Target. One of the few downsides of gambling, I suppose.

10:11 So Anthony Anderson and Teri Hatcher are at the Emmy stage...and its not too bad. They bring on the guest stars for comedy series; Stan "Mike Wolly look-alike" Tucci and Elaine Strich. Hahaha, she can't read the teleprompter, and it's the best moment so far on the show.

Elaine Streitch (or whoever she is) is my hero.

They're giving the award for Directing, comedy series: Richard Shepard, Ugly Betty.. Hrm. Looks like Jared's pulling away with this competition.

10:16 Teri Hatcher and Anthony Anderson are back for writing in a comedy: Greg Daniels, The Office, "Gay Witch Hunt". I'm really happy for them, but I need to start winning some points if I want to beat Jared.

Yay Office. Well done, Emmys. This time.

10:25 Wayne Brady is fantastic. He should host the Emmys next year. He "randomly announces" two audience members to compete to present the reality award, and its....Rainn Wilson and....Kanye West. This is great shtick...how did the same room of people who wrote this also wrote Seacrest's crap.

I really have to hand it to the Emmys, the comic interludes have actually been funny.

Rainn presents with Kanye for best reality show: Amazing Race. No shock there, but I think they should have to lose their previous awards for the Family version.

Yeah, really, it had to be Amazing Race. All of us but Scholle were being silly. Good job, Scholle.

10:35 Stewart and Colbert come up to present an award...Colbert has a leafblower, to mock the "green" Emmy's. "If entertainers stop publicly congratulating themselves, then the Earth wins." Well played, Colbert.

They're announcing best actor in a comedy: Ricky Gervais. Thats a shocker, but Steve Carrelll comes on anyway to accept the award.

I didn't realize America cared about Extras. Weird.

10:40 Hold on, there's no lifetime achievement award and no "look who died" montage? Sad. Hugh Laurie and Felicity Huffman give the award for Best Actress to Sally Field. They like her, they really like her.

Wow. Sally Field, never woulda guessed that. Sorry, Edie. I would have sworn the Sopranos lovin' would have spilled over. By the way, I'm not sure I could guess how old Sally Field is if you gave me a ten year cushion either way.

Fox is afraid of the PTC....dammit, they cut off Sally Field because of she said "goddamn." I'd really like to believe its not because she criticized the war.

10:44 I spoke too soon. MONTAGE OF DEAD PEOPLE...I love this stuff.

Yankees up 4-1 in the 8th and Patriots up 31-14 in the third.

It is really creepy that Brian loves the dead person montage. Right? That's not just me.

10:52 Debra Messing and the Shat present the word for Actress, Comedy: America Ferrera, Ugly Betty. No shocker there.I can't figure out if she's cute or not. But good for her...I dont really know if she's any better than the other nominees since I dont watch any of the show's nominated.

I feel like after all these awards, I have to Netflix Ugly Betty. Which will make the inevitable disappointment hurt so much worse.

10:55 And the James Gandolfini award goes to....James Gandolfini. As read by...WHAA????? JAMES SPADER??? YOu can't blame these Emmy's for being predictable. Absurd.

There's a new series called "Private Practice and Cane"? Sounds pretty good!

I would have lost a rather large amount of money if I could have bet on Gandolfini winning. Man. That's shocking.

11:02 Jared: Well, it all comes down to this.

I dont know why Jared thought 2.5 Men would win, cause it clearly won't. 30 Rock, that's pretty surprising, again. Tina Fey isn't very funny, and I dont think I can ever be convinced otherwise. Ian's pleased, I know, but...The Office is better! COME ON!

John will be happy, even if it means we tie. I've made promises to watch this show, so I'll reserve comment.

11:08 Queen Elizabeth dishes out the award for Outstanding Drama Series...which I would have thought was a shoo-in for The Sopranos, but after Gandolfini-gate, who knows. The Sopranos. Hear, hear! The last season was really really good, so nicely done Emmy Committee.

Jared: Well, I'm glad the Sopranos won Best Drama. Glad to see the Emmys have a little class in them.

I'm forgoing writing about the acceptance speech, cause we have to drive back to the district tonight, and I'm tired.

This has been fun. See you at the Golden Globes.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part II

2007-09-16T20:58:00.000-04:00

9:04 Jared starts off Hour 2 in an...interesting manner.

I feel like the Vanessa Hudgens scandal will be giving Brian wet dreams for the next month. Good thing there is a rather thick wall between our rooms.

To class things up a bit, Queen Latifah gives a tribute to Roots on its 30th Anniversary. Actually, I think that the reason they dont push the miniseries out of the main event is because of Roots' legacy. A number of cast members from the show stand on stage and recieve a standing O...for being actors. This is a bit over the top. Cicely Tyson could read a medical dictionary and it could sound dramatic. LeVar Burton could take a look, its in a book, its Reading Rainbow.

The cast of Roots are badasses. I wouldn't mess with a single one Especially Cicely Tyson.

They announce the award for best mini-series: Broken Trail. Good thing they won...because the cast of Roots giving an award to The Starter Wife would have just been awkward.

Duvall is rambling about Chinese girls? What the hell is going on? Play the exit music. Now!

9:10 Hayden Pantierre and NPH announce nominees for best guest actor and actress, but im confused. So now the winner for best guest actress announces the award for directing a dramatic series: Alan Taylor, Sopranos. This was for the episode where Christopher is killed, and it was a phenomenal episode. Even better, he gives a shout out to Steve Buscemi for "Pine Barrens" which was also brilliant.

Jared: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!
Really, the whole category should just have been FNL and Studio 60 episodes. The Sopranos director looks like Kenny Mayne. FNL should have been nominated at least two episodes here. Just saying.

9:14 Now, the award for writing, dramatic series: David Chase, Sopranos. Maybe now he'll explain what the finale meant!!! Nope.

9:20 Steve Carell comes out...sadly this is the only time we'll see him since I dont think he'll win. Bah. But Jenna Fischer gets to shine for her comedic timing!! He presents the award for best Variety/Comedy show: Daily Show. Of course I'm happy, but once again I got it wrong.

Stewart's magnanimous in victory...I can't wait for Colbert to be vicious in defeat.

He also gives out the award for best variety show, which wasn't on the list Jared provided to us. I blame him for Tony Bennett winning.

The Office bit was really funny. I'm impressed with these little one-offs. They keep the show moving, I think.

Yankees tie it up. Tony Bennett wins another award. The world loses.

9:28 Is it off if Marcia Cross frightens me? She looks like a robot. But she and Marc Harmon give out the award for best supp. actress in miniseries/movie: Judy Davis. Smoooth, Marcia Cross.

Marcia Cross cleavage? Like the sun, don't stare directly at it. You'll hate yourself afterward. Judy Davis didn't show up because she knew Toni Collette should have won that sucker.

ZZZZZZZZZ, the head of the television academy talks. Ugh.

9:36 Mary Louise Parker is such a babe....and a strong role model for female actors. How soon I forget.

It is kind of funny that Glenn Close is happy that cable is developing shows for strong women because, you know, Glenn Close is a man.

They're here to give the award for best movie: Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Hooks falls far behind, and I'm still two behind Jared. I came close to watching this, but I didnt get over to Shuppy's to watch it.

9:38 Fat Tony puts on a Jersey accent to introduce the Jersey Boys honorific for the Sopranos. I'm guessing that their presence is somehow connected to media conglomeration. Just a guess. I'm skeptical as to how good this will be....well, as long as its just them singing, and no actual clips from the show. This is just an ad for the Broadway show.

I love Frankie Valli and the Sopranos should get a send off and all, but really, this is a bit of stretch, don't you think?

Yes, I do. That was dreadful.

9:44 Cast of the Sopranos makes an appearance...and this is a nice trip down memory lane, although the minor characters (Charmayne, for instance) mugging for the camera is a bit much. And....commercial.

9:49 Sally Field and Patrick Dempsey announce the awards for actress in a Miniseries/Movie: Helen Mirren. Dammit, Scholle. She's not even playing a queen, for chrissakes. But yay PBS!! I dont think anyone actually saw this movie, they just like Helen Mirren.

Friggin' Helen Mirren. She can't be stopped. It would be funny if she celebrated like...say...Chad Johnson. That would be good.

For those keeping track, the Pats are up 24-0 at half, and the Red Sox and Yanks are knotted at 1, with only five hits combined in the bottom of the sixth.

9:52 Ah, Lewis Black. Silver Spring native and brilliant asshole, he cracks me up. His delivery is usually better than his actually joke, but you can say that for most comedians. Because if they have a bad delivery....they write for the Daily Show.

Lewis Black is funny, but I think he needs some help coming up with valid points around which to base his diatribes.

9:56 Some non-descript guy and and a chick whose name I dont remember give out the award for Directing, Movie/Miniseries: Phillip Martin, Prime Suspect. How British.

Masterpiece Theater is still on the air? Who knew.

Same couple gives out the award for Writing, movie/miniseries: Frank Deasy, Prime Suspect

You know miniseries are cool and all, but it seems a bit off to me that they get so much time during this show, when you think about how many TV hours are spent on regular programming.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part I

2007-09-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

8:01 -- So Stewie and Brian from Family Guy are kicking it off with a musical rendition of mocking TV....and isnt this about 3 years too late? Family Guy is a bit...old by this point, right? On the other hand, it probably has the most respect for old-tyme television out of any show on TV.

(for the record, its Jared in italics, and Hooks will be chiming in as well. Regular text is Brian)

I thought the family guy opening was a little weak, good idea, but it came off a little too clean.

8:03 -- Way to be self-congratulating. Its never a good time when you start off your own series of applause for Johnny Carson.

8:06 -- THis set is absurd. Are they on the set of Deal or No Deal or American Idol? Great they're trying new things at all...but what happened to the glamour of red velvet aisles and chandeliers?

Ryan Seacrest does OK in his monologue. Hooks and Jared are working on the picks for the Emmys, so I'm going solo for the moment.

Seacrest delivers a solid if unspectacular opening, showing he's clearly intent on making this his life's work for the next three decades or so.

8:10 Since Seacrest isnt a comedian or a singer, they bring on one of the former to do a monologue of sorts. Ray Romano...kind of funny in the Parents Television Council kind of way. But really, with over two dozen awards to give out, dont they need to start moving on with this show. Romano makes a very basic sex joke...ha ha.

8:12 First award for Supp. Actor in a Comedy: Jeremy Piven. Well deserved, because he's the only funny part of Entourage any more. Everyone else is just reading the lines. I knew I shouldnt have picked Rainn Wilson of the Office.

I open out in front, where i'll remain for the rest of the evening (Ed note: Hooks got it right too)

8:14 Supp. Actor in a Drama: Terry O'Quinn WTF? Really? I dont think anyone saw this one coming. We all went for Masi Oka. I kind of wish that Terry said "Yatta!" right now.

terry's win was just to make up for his long-overlooked appearance on matlock (hint: he did it!)

8:22 3 years ago, do you predict tina fey and julia louis-dreyfus are here in plunging necklines, presenting an award and nominating? who could have called that?

Seacrest is about as inoffensive as possible. See him next year. Supp. Actress Comedy: Jamie Pressly. Not only did Pam NOT win, but I also didnt pick Jamie Pressly. Dammit. Jenna Fischer is GOLD, baby. GOLD! And I bet that if Tori were watching, she'd be heartbroken that her girlfriend Holland Taylor didnt win. Sorry, T-Ball.

Obviously I'd rather either my pick or Jenna Fischer win this, but jamie pressly isn't a bad pick here, i don't think

8:26 KYLE CHANDLER!!!!!! W0000000T!!!!

He and Katherine Heigl (pronounced HIGH-GUL, as she told the disembodied female voice) present Supp. Actor in Miniseries/Movie: Thomas Haden Church. Yay. Would anyone care if the miniseries/movies were booted to the Creative Awards?

8:33 They're really passing around the "hosting" duties, with Ellen feigning being stupid and now she's rambling. IT'S A MONTAGE!!!! YAY! Its a comedic, bush-bashing, tom-snyder-loving MONTAGE from the late-night hosts. And now Entourage.

i was going to rail against the montage, but slipping in the tom snyder tribute? that's classy

8:38 The cast of Entourage and Eva Longoria (just deal with it) present Supp. Actress Comedy: Katherine Heigl. Wow...good for her, and I am continuing to suck at this pick-em thing. She was great in Knocked Up, thats all I have to say about that.

Brian apparently is giving us all a head start on the picks. Or he is really bad at this. You be the judge. Or Judge Mathis. Either way.

My problem is that I gave the dumbasses at EW too much credit.

8:43 These intros of the comedy writing teams is fantastic....they should give an award just for that. Goes to Conan O'Brien and his team. Kind of surprised it didn't go to the Comedy Central teams, but they'll get their due.

The variety writing bits were really good. I approve.
Conan? Boo.

Jared doesn't like Conan? How could he be so wrong?

8:50 Brian used EW as a resouce in picking Emmys? That's sad. Really, that's sad. Also, for a sports update, Pats are up 7-0 halfway through the first quarter, and Boston is up 1-0 in the bottom of the second.

8:51 Seacrest makes a Kid Nation joke...ha! Now its a musical routine from Tony Bennet and XTina.

Things I want to see less than a Christina Aguilera/Tony Bennett duet right now? The Pats winning and a Red Sox-Yankees game. That's probably about it.

8:53 A drunk Alec Baldwin announces the award for directing a variety show: Tony Bennett. Good for Tony Bennett, or his diretor at least. This was much better than show #12601 of the Daily Show.

Yeah, I mean, Rob Marshall, Tony Bennett, it had to be. Why does a Tony Bennett TV show win so many awards? Are the voters all over 60 years old or Claudia?

8:56 Jack Bauer and Ali "Varsity Blues" Larter announce the Actor in a Miniseries: Robert Duvall. I thought he might not win, but then I realized that Duvall will act in anything for money.

I'm a little sad that William H. Macy or Tom Selleck didn't win. But really, it almost isn't fair when a respected movie actor does a spot on a TV show.

Emmy Live Blog!!

2007-09-16T19:58:00.000-04:00

Welcome to yet another liveblog...this time, we make fun of the Emmy's and how they are totally the ugly step-sister of the Oscars. And that's pretty ugly. Even uglier than Betty, which I'm predicting will have a big night.

Keep tuned.

American Film Institute Loves the Kane

2007-06-20T19:48:00.000-04:00

The final scores: John, 24; Jared, 28, Brian, 38. Woot.

My final thoughts? I'm impressed at the way AFI members managed to mangle this one. My biggest beef is Rebel Without a Cause not being on the list. It has to be on the top 100 movies. It just has to. Other than that, I'm kinda curious what will happen 10 years down the road. I never would have figured that the the older movies would play bigger this time around. I'm not quite sure what that says about the AFI and their membership.

1. Citizen Kane. Cinematically, brilliant and ahead of its time. Is it better than the Godfather? Debatable? But this list has so many more problems that I wouldnt even bother debating this. No Rebel Without a Cause?? How are there so few modern movies? Where's Goodburger? CMON! Gnight folks. Leave us your thoughts in the comments.

Citizen Kane at #1. I know that I'm supposed to argue against this, but what you know what? Screw it. It deserves to be #1. That's no knock against Casablanca or Godfather, but Citizen Kane is just a fantastically solid movie that holds up so well for so long. Well done, Citizen Kane. And AFI, for at least getting this one right

2. Godfather. Well, this is how I would rank my top 2. Godfather probably ranks at the top of "Most stop channel surfing now" level, although its equally great to watch on TV. Even when its slow, its captivating. What else can be said? Jared?

Guess he's too busy counting up how much money I'm owed.

3. Casablanca. Nailed it, again. I liked this movie the first time I saw it, but since then, I havent really had any desire to re-watch it. Maybe I just need a girlfriend to introduce it to. Any suggestions?

Well, this puts the game squarely in the hands of Brian, I think. Obviously enough, I disagree. I love Godfather to pieces, but personally, I'd take Casablanca over Godfather, both personally, and what it has meant to American cinema.

Jared, thats a bold choice.

4. Raging Bull. Good for Scorcese. This list seems to get more and more random the closer we get to #1.

This is a pretty big overrate, if you ask me. This should be Rebel Without a Cause. No doubt in my mind.

5. The best American movie musical, to fill out my top 2. Even though the ridicuous "Gotta Dance" interlude is too long and goofy, the Singin in the Rain scene makes up for it. The music isn't even all that special, but I like it.

Don't tell Brian I said this, but Singin' in the Rain isn't the best movie musical ever.

6. Gone with the Wind. Jared and I are terrible movie buffs. We havent seen this either...and I own it. I like that line "Frankly my dear....Let's get back together." Thats how the Simpsons told me it happened.

Brian and I decided our scoring system was a little off. You can be sure I'll bring up this point if I end up losing. Otherwise, frankly my dear(s), I don't give a damn.

7. Lawrence of Arabia. I love me some David Lean epics, and this is the best of them all. And still culturally relevant. A bit too long, but it made me appreciate Peter O'Toole a helluva lot. This, along with My Favorite Year.

from john: "lawrence of arabia- perhaps the best british film of all time?
maybe it had an american editor or something"

brian and I saw Lawrence of Arabia at the AFI Silver Theatre. We are that cool.

8. Schindler's List. I am a terrible Jew. No, I didnt make out during Schindler's List. I've never seen it.

Some bonus points here for Jared, but will it be enough? The way this list is turning out, probably not. I've never seen Schindler's List, due to a variety of circumstances that seem always set against me

9. Vertigo sucks. Sorry; it's boring. Kim Novak is hideous. The plot is frustrating. and Jimmy Stewart overacts as he usually does. The supposedly fantastic effect where Kim Novak comes out of the Green is cheesy by today's standards. Im pissed.

How is Vertigo 9? In what world? Seriously? What happened to this list?

10. The Wizard of Oz comes in at 10, which is well deserved. There's really no explaining where any of these movies place, so whatever. Hard to believe how well it holds up after 70 years, though.

According to the voice of God, AKA Morgan Freeman, only one of the top 10 movies held the same spot. In other words, Jared is screwed.

11. City Lights. Is the AFI trying to prove its irrelevance? Two silent films in the top 25, and three Chaplin films in the 100? How about making yourself intriguing to anyone born past 1960?

so, um, who would have guessed the top 25 would have an later average release date than 10 years ago. How does that make sense?

12. SUCK IT SCHOLLE! Of course The Searchers is making an 80 point leap. This movie is so racist, and so overrated, but people who love westerns love this movie. Also people who think John Wayne is a great actor love this movie. Both groups are wrong.

I wish you all could have experienced the sheer joy Brian exuded when The Searchers was announced.

13. Star Wars. No complaints here, although I would have liked to ahve seen it higher, mostly for its widespread influence.

Really, what's left to say about Star Wars? Other than that I can't believe I forgot to TiVo that Robot Chicken Star Wars

14. I cant imagine what it would have been like to ahve seen Psycho without knowing the twist. Same deal with Planet of the Apes, but I feel robbed by not getting to watch the final reveal knowing nothing. Also the shower scene. Why did i have to know so much?

Psycho is a movie that I always think is overrated. Until I watch it again, and I realize just why everyone likes it so much.

15. Duhhhhh....Dehhhhhhhhh.....Dahhhhhhhhhhhh. DAH dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 2001 is on the list. Cmon, where's The Searchers??

2001 is a terrible movie. Repeat after me, people. Just because a movie is artsy, that doesn't mean it is good. I just don't understand how 2001 belongs this high. How many movies are direct descendants? Boo.

John says 2001 is the most overrated movie of all time, and I may not disagree

16. Sunset Boulevard. Again, no real desire to see it...everything about is uninteresting to me.

I found Sunset Blvd. a little too...cute? for its own good. It is OK movie, and gets point for the jabs at Hollywood, its age, and its quotes, but I dunno.

17. Mostly because of the soundtrack, and Katherine Ross' general hottness, I like The Graduate a lot.

I saw a production of The Graduate in Miami...let me tell you, I appreciate the movie a lot more now. Still, I think that the soundtrack makes it a little more revered than maybe it should be

18. The General. Sure, I guess you need a Buster Keaton on the top 100 list. But this is absurd. Did anyone younger than 70-years-old vote in the poll?

18? AFI has their shocker, I guess. But wow. Who could have guessed that?

19. On the Waterfront. We are terrible movie buffs. We havent seen this movie either. We coulda had class.

I think that invalidates what tenuous claim to being movie buffs we have. Especially since, you know, Brian owns this movie.

20. It's a Wonderful Life. I'm too busy eating Chinese food and watching new releases at the movie theater to ever watch this Christmas classic. Jared, no one will hurt you because you're Jewish.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've never seen this movie. Please don't hurt me?

21. Chinatown. Jared and I just saw this...neither of us were that impressed. L.A. Confidential was a better update with better acting and no incestual plotlines.

Chinatown? Eh. Probably the most overrated movie on the list.

22. Some Like it Hot is still funny, nearly 50 years after it came out. Some people still have taste, fortunately. The sepia-interviews are sad, though. Jack Lemmon was the man.

What?!?! Some Like it Hot is THE acceptable comedy to like as a classic. As such, it deserves to be higher up the list. It works on basically every level. And I made a Some Like it Hot reference earlier this week. That should count for something

23. No real desire to see Grapes of Wrath, although it is the 23rd best movie ever, so maybe I should.

Grapes of Wrath is the first movie I cut from last time's top 25. Maybe I should see the movie before it gets me again ten years down the road

24. Neither Jared nor I thought ET would make it. I';m still bitter that Steven Speilberg took the guns out of the officers hands at the end. What a wusstastic move.

I think we are all surprised E.T. stays up there. I dunno, I just don't think people talk about it as much anymore. Don't worry, Drew Barrymore is maybe 5 years too young for Brian in the movie.

25. I nailed this one. To Kill a Mockingbird. Quality film, and of course its the 25th best movie ever. Another trivia moment: Robert Duvall's first movie. And the kid who played Scout was pretty good.

Man, Brian nails #25. Can't say that's the way I wanted to start this thing

29-26 Double Indemnity. The only time I've heard of this movie is on stupid AFI lists. That shouldnt count!

Is there a secret society of people who do nothing but watch Double Indemnity? Because I know almost no one who has even really heard much about this movie

All About Eve, and my top 25 picks are dropping like flies. I only know one thing about eve, and that's her bumpy ride line. Thanks ADD!

Brian just misses out on a couple of movies, and those points could be pretty crucial as we approach the all-important top 25. All I have to say about All About Eve, is that I can never remember if I've seen it. That can't be a good sign.

Jared, you can't remember anything. Although I am incapable of picking hte top 25, since I had High Noon in there too. This is one of Tony Soprano's favorites, Gary Cooper being the strong silent type and all.

I've nothing to say about High Noon. Other than my now-standard, "Remember when people made westerns?" Oh, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is a fantastic movie, but not eligible here, obviously

The AFI is so xenophobic, man...why they gotta be so American? Where's my 8 1/2? Following a commercial break, we're gearing up for lots of point counting with #26, then the money.

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It's so gosh darn idealistic, that it is difficult to watch nowadays without rolling your eyes and falling asleep. Great for its time, I guess.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Smith Goes to Washington just isn't that great a movie. Stop saying it is!

TOP 25 TIME!!!

34-30 Snow White...now this is the kind of movie that I want to hear John Lasseter talk about. None of this screwball shiz.

I'm glad Disney made it on this list somewhere, but I do see how Disney is more an accumulation of movies than any one specific one.

One flew east...one flew west....One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. This is part 2 of 3 of my favorite trivia question ever (sweeping the oscars) (part 3 is Silence of the Lambs). Never seen this either.

For the record, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is a pretty fantastic book. You all should read it.

GF2. How is this not in the Top 25?? BOOOO. Look, there are logical people who say that GF2 is better than the first godfather. So how can this rank so far below where the first Godfather will rank? I knew it was you Fredo!

heehee, Brian is so sad that Godfather II fell. I'm sure Adam will be as well. Sorry guys, it was never going to happen.

Maltese Falcon. I havent seen this in a long time, but I like Peter Lorre a lot...and Bogart is usually worth his reputation.

I absolutely agree with this ranking in the sense that Maltese Falcon wasn't that great a movie, so it shouldn't get top 25. But I totally get what it has meant for cinema.

Apocalypse Now. I totally dont remember Harrison Ford being in Apocalypse Now...but then again, I miscomprehended Heart of Darkness so much that I think I overthought the movie when I first saw it. The Napalm scene is still cuhlassic.

I was going to add it to my queue, but it was already there! Thanks, past Jared.

From John: "wow. this is a great year for me. first I won time's person of the year, then the head of the afi says I'm the most important person in supporting film"

35-39 Dr. Strangelove is so good...and it deserves so much more respect than 39. Sad. When a movie makes you laugh during the few clips they show, even in clips you've seen 10 times over, you know its quality.

My third predicted top 25 movie falls here. Which is sad. Dr. Strangelove is such a great movie.

Badges, we don't need no stinkin badges. They're just using the same clips they used for the 100 quotes show. This time, its for Treasure of Sierra Madre.

Who would have guessed Mel Brooks would give the commentary on Treasure of the Sierra Madre? Not me.

I'm getting depressed now....I havent seen Best Years of our Lives either....I thought that by now I'd have seen a majority of the films on the list.

You know, My Favorite Year is probably better than The Best Years of Our Lives

Bridge on the River Kwai. HEY, how about a spoiler alert, Sir Ben Kingsley?! Just because you've been knighted you think you can ruin the ending of a great classic? Boo. And I never would have picked Spike Lee as the commentator for a David Lean epic.

Wow, huge drop here. I should have had the guts to take it off my top 25. But I've never seen it, so I figured maybe I was missing something.

Annie Hall is the precursor to the great romantic comedies that Jared loves, so its kind of funny that he doesnt like it that much. This is a good spot for it though.

Awww, Annie Hall. You aren't as great a movie as people think you are, but I'm forever indebted to you for the movies you spawned.

44-40 No sepia tones for Charlton Heston to talk about Philadelphia Story? That's cause they're afraid that he's going to shoot them.

What the hell accent does Katherine Hepburn have? That isn't real, I'm sorry.

Another movie that I want to see, but that i've heard is really dated is Midnight Cowboy.

Thanks to all the various trivia I've done, Midnight Cowboy and X will forever be linked together.

Gene Hackman, Faye Dunaway, and Warren Beatty. I haven't seen Bonnie and Clyde yet...why??

Brian and I have been trying to see Bonnie and Clyde for like five years now, I think. That's sad on so many levels.

King Kong comes and goes pretty fast. Kind of like the dreadful sequel that Jack Black single-handedly ruined.

For the record, Sound of Music is not on my list of top 2 movie musicals ever. Probably top 5, however.

In that segue between King Kong and Sound of Music, it looked like Kong was going to eat Julie Andrews. That would have been sweet.

49-45: This is kind of a ridiculous jump for a movie that wasnt on last decade's 100. I think the AFI cooked the books. Maybe Intolerance is good, but it looked goofy in the segments they aired.

Grace Kelly is so hot in Rear Window, and thank god the overall movie was so good that it blocked out my memories of Prof. Edelman at Tufts telling us how this movie is about anal sex. Professa, please.

I have a bias toward movies with only a couple sets. Hence my love for 12 Angry Men, Phone Booth, and Rear Window. I love that Rear Window was able to be made

Streetcar Named Desire....which will always bring back thoughts of the Simpsons musical. A great early episode from the show. I'll take Jared's word for the quality of it.

Streetcar, is the one exception. Wow, is it bad.

Happened One Night. John Lasseter here again to talk about how funny a screwball comedy is...if I hadnt seen all the Pixar films, I'd think that he has no sense of humor. It's also my favorite trivia question of movies that swept the Oscars.

I feel like a bad person for not having seen It Happened One Night.

SHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane. No real thoughts on this one.

All I really know about Shane is that Mad Magazine, when I actually had a subscription to it, has this hilarious spoof of it. At least, it was hilarious at the time.

54-50 I got MASH a year ago as a gift. Still haven't seen it. Probably should. Oops.

People, watch M*A*S*H again. The movie definitely does not hold up well. At all. The theme, though, "Suicide is Painless" is so much better than the theme to the TV show. I'll give it that.

I'm going to echo Jared here. People, watch Deer Hunter again and see if you can get through the first hour without falling asleep. It is so dreadfully boring and just unwatchable. The latter parts are sometimes riveting, and Walken is good, but half a movie does not a classic make.

If Christopher Walken is in a movie, I'll watch it. No questions asked.

I've never seen Taxi Driver, and neither has Jared, so while I can't speak for him, I know that I would totally kill to get Jodie Foster from that film.

Taxi Driver is one of those movies I keep telling myself I should see, but never while I'm near a computer so I can put it on my queue. Oh. Wait.

I am not ashamed to say that West Side Story is one of the top 2 movie musicals ever made...and its insane that this isnt higher on the list.

I almost had West Side Story on my personal Top 25 ballot. That stupid live action short winning the Oscar aside. Yes, I'm still bitter.

Morgan pops in to give us an update at #50: First Lord of the Rings, my friend. Ha! This is why I didnt add it to my ballot, because who knew whether it would be the first. Commence Jared rant...now:

ok, so you have two movies in a particular trilogy that are generally considered better. One has a larger box office, more Oscars, and an higher imdb.com rating. How on earth do you not pick that one for your list? That makes absolutely no sense, AFI. None at all. Why even bother with criteria? Seriously, that's absolutely dreadful. How can we trust any other selection you make if you can't make this incredibly obvious one? It took me 15 seconds to find the relevant information. Just because "Fellowship of the Ring" has "Ring" in it? Poor form.

55-59 Nashville is the kind of movie that the more I see of it, the more I think I might like it. But I never do.

Then there's more Chaplin with Gold Rush. AFI loves its old time comedy. Methinks Austin Powers isnt making the top 100.

You know, Chaplin is great and all, but 20 years from now, how many people could actually name The Gold Rush as a movie separate from just Charlie Chaplin the character

YO ADRIAN! Rocky flies high at 57.

Lord, Rocky is such a good movie. And Sly wrote it! Seriously, though, it should be higher, but that the AFI even put it this high says a lot, I think.

The original blockbuster. Jaws. It holds up really well, I have to admit.

Dun dun. Dun dun. Dun dun. Dun dun dun dun dun dun!

Jared, aren't you tone deaf? The first Hitchcock clocks in here with North by Northwest, which is also my favorite of his films. Great score....and Martin Landau is a brilliant henchman. Yay.

Someone claims "North by Northwest" is the most entertaining Hitchcock movie. That's kind of a bold statement, I think. It is great, don't get me wrong. But most entertaining? Strangers on a Train? Rope is pretty accessible, I think. I dunno. John says it is absolutely criminal that North by Northwest fell so much.

64-60 Faye Dunaway was kind of a knockout in Network, a movie that was too dark, but
fascinating and fun nonetheless. I agree with Jared's sentiment below.

Network is a great idea executed poorly. Had it been made today, in the right hands, I think it would have been much better. (Sorry, Mom!)

Is this All that Jazz? or Chicago? Fosse? Nah, it's Cabaret.

[sheepishly admits he really likes Cabaret] So, uh...let's chug some beer or look at porn or something.

American Graffiti. George Lucas makes the hard sell, telling us that it has no plot, no characters.

Everyone loves Preston Sturges...but yet, ive never had the desire to see one of his movies. Jared gives a lukewarm review of Sullivan's Travels.

Sullivan's Travels! My mom actually forced my entire family to watch this movie, mostly because she knew that this is the movie from which O Brother, Where Art Thou? got its title. To be fair, it is actually a pretty decent movie.

More Marx brothers brings Duck Soup in at #60.

More Marx Brothers! You get classy, America.

65-69. And then Tootsie is one of those movies that makes you glad you grew up in the 90s. What a bizarre inclusion on the new list....maybe the AFI 100 Comedies was an influence. Dustin Hoffman is tearing up...about Tootsie? Really?

Tootsie is a really really bad movie. Why can't people realize that? I understand the premise was great and all, but wow. Just an unenjoyable movie. John claims Dustin Hoffman is high during his interview, and you know what? I'm inclined to believe him.

Unforgiven. Damn...I really thought I had this one locked up by this point. Old people love their westerns, however.

I'm glad these Westerns are so high, but I'm still thinking that 10 years from now, they will drop like the body of a guy who loses a shootout.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? ME! Me!

Virginia Woolf sucks, and this movie sucks for reminding me of her.

Raiders of the Lost Ark. As with most of the movies on this list that came out after 1980, this should be higher. But it's good to see Harrison Ford with hair again. Makes me think that he has potential to not ruin IJ4.

African Queen. More sepia toned interviews, this time with Anne Bancroft. Sad. Never seen the movie. This has to be the winner for the big drop, with a plus-50 fall. Jared loses another potential point.

Yeah, the African Queen deserved to drop this much. I didn't think the AFI had the balls for it. Also, what did people ever see in Katherine Hepburn? She's always looked like a skeleton to me.

74-70 May I talk for a moment about how fine Jodie Foster is? Especially in her older age? Sammy might even call her a cougar. But sadly, she's unavailable to me. And no, its not because she's a lesbian, that's just crazy talk. Oh, and the 74th film is Silence of the Lambs.

You know, Silence of the Lambs is pretty good, but I think I'm going to assign it some blame for all the crappy procedurals on TV. Which pisses me off.

One of my top 5 movies ever: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Who are those guys?? Don't forget, this movie has not one, but TWO montages.

Butch Cassidy is one of the few movies I fell asleep while watching. To be fair, I believe that may have been a night Brian and I drunkenly stumbled home at 2 in the morning and decided it would be a good idea to watch a slow 70s movie.

Morgan Freeman lets me catch up before #73: Shawshank Redemption. A fantastic inclusion. It's on my top 5 "If its on TV while channel surfing, I will stop and watch it." list. An impressive leap from not being included last year.

Shawshank is one you should look at to rise for the next list 10 years down the road. A quality movie universally acknowledged as such, and extreme rewatchability

Two 90s movies in a row, and Brian gets his second "jump on" movie of the night with Saving Private Ryan. It's a World War II movie, of course its on the list.

Saving Private Ryan is our generation's war movie, and I'm not sure anything will be able to change that.

Never seen Clockwork Orange, and I'm kind of scared to see it, but since it brought Malcolm McDowell into our world, I gotta give it props.

A Clockwork Orange is one of those movies that makes you think maybe life was better in the 60s and 70s.

#75-79 The Wild Bunch Damn, I guess I need to see more movies.

The Wild Bunch? Interesting. Where have all the Westerns gone (long time passing)? Is Tom Selleck going to be the last of the cowboys?

Modern Times. There's the Chaplin movie for the list. Can't Complain

All the President's Men. Just saw this for the first time. Very quality, so much that I was disappointed when it ended. That hasn't happened to me in a while.

All the President's Men has such a great group of actors. I wonder, though, if today, they would have gotten Deep Throat to confess at the premiere of the movie, to boost the box office

Forrest Gump. I really wanted to pick this movie to drop off of the list, but I also really wanted to beat Jared. The more I watch this movie, the more I hate it.

So everyone knows, Brian thinks Forrest Gump is a blight on humanity.

Sorry....this movie is overrated. In the Heat of the Night. It's the movie that made me really dread the pacing of any movie made before 1980.

Sidney Poitier is cool and all, but wow. Overact much?

#80-84 Easy Rider rides in for #84. Ive heard that the movie is obscenely dated and not very good, which means I agree with Jared's next sentiment.

Is it wrong that I never had any inclination to see Easy Rider?

Titanic sails in next, and anytime I get to be vindicated by telling Jared that there was no way it cracked the back 20, is a good time to eat some pizza. And William Friedkin is smoking some crack like DiCaprio and Winslet are our Bogart and Hepburn? Whaaa?

OK, here's the thing about Titanic. I've never seen it. But let's look at the AFI criteria. Box office? Titanic is tops overall, and it isn't close. Oscars? 11, plus gaggles of other awards. Cultural import? I mean, how iconic is that "I'm the king of the world" scene? I understand the reluctance to have a recent movie finish close to the top, but come on, AFI. If you have criteria, you have to use it, otherwise, what's the point?

82. Sunrise. Um, ok. If you say so, AFI.

I'm not saying we know everything about movies, but if Brian and I haven't heard of a movie, how could it make this list? Isn't that counter to what the list stands for?

Who wants to claim to be next? I AM SPARTACUS. How many people have seen Spartacus, and how many people just know that one scene? I'm guessing the latter is waaaaay larger than the former.

80. The Apartment Never seen it, again. Although I heard its more depressing than advertised. They've resorted to using old footage of Jack Lemmon. As if to remind us that he's dead, he is in sepia tones.

OK, that does it, The Apartment is going on my Netflix queue.

#85-89 Sixth Sense kicks things off, and Night talks about how awesome he is.

John Scholle would like everyone to know that he hates The Sixth Sense. As a fan of the Twilight Zone, I respect what M. Night did for twist endings. Speaking of which, you absolutely have to watch the music video for "Same Girl" (R. Kelly featuring Usher)

Scholle loses another bonus point with Bringing Up Baby. John Lasseter is lying right now. It is not a great comedy, because comedies have to be funny.

"The comedy in [Bringing Up Baby] is bigger than life?" Just like Mo'Nique!

12 Angry Men has gotta be a great movie, ive just never seen it. Should it be higher?

12 Angry Men belongs on any and every top 25. Wow. What a stud of a movie. I mean, I understand why it is so low here, really, how many movies are derivatives of it. But still. What a movie.

Platoon is a pretty good Vietnam movie, but isnt it just a remake of Apocalypse now?

John says the bad guy in Platoon looks like Carlton Fisk. I must see this movie now.

#85 brings Jared's biggest yoink of the night. I can't believe he called Night at the Opera.

A Night at the Opera! Wow. What a call! Thank you, thank you. But yeah, I mean, c'mon. The Marx Brothers? My theory was that they'd get on if only for backlash from new movies

#94-90 Last Picture Show comes next, which is perhaps the only thing that Peter Bogdanovich has become known for, other than his appearances on the Sopranos. But he's still somehow considered a film genius. I dunno.

Brian just hit on a 15 year old Cybill Shepard, for those who are keeping track at home

Dude, no way she's 15 in this clip. (Jared says she was probably 20.)

Pulp Fiction comes next. Jared loses out on his shot for the biggest jump category, and I actually wish he was right. Shyamalamadingdong is right when he says that it's the greatest movie of his generation. Brilliant.

Seriously, it is a travesty that Pulp Fiction didn't move up the list. The movie is exactly the type of recent film that the AFI would recognize as being "good." I mean, I guess it make the list, and that should be enough, but still. I'm bitter.

French Connection. Ah, our first William Friedkin appearance. Get used to him. And again, this movie deserves better treatment than being 93rd.

William Friedkin just called the French Connection chase scene a "metaphor." Yeah, a metaphor for the only reason people still talk about your stupid movie!

Whatever, Jared is just jealous of Gene Hackman. Goodfellas is the first back from the commercial break, and while it clearly deserves a higher ranking, at least they introduced it with the classic Copacabana scene.

Wow, a double whammy for Brian, with Goodfellas going this low. John and I were way off with our guesses for what would jump the highest.

Sophie's Choice is 91st, and the only thing I can think of now is "Sophie Changes Her Mind" as possibly the best trivia team name ever.

Swing Time is a movie that neither Jared nor I have heard of before. It's a crazy choice, because the person they had introduce it was the crazy of all crazies: Sharon Stone.

Swing time?!?!?!?! AFI didn't actually check anyone's list, did they?

#100-95: Ben-Hur kicks it off, with a big drop from 72 last year. Then it's Toy Story, which is deservedly on this list. Although that probably counts out any chance for other recent animateds. Yankee Doodle Dandy stays on the list, which is a travesty since all three of us picked that to drop off from its previous spot at #100. Blade Runner comes next, which I've heard that Ridley Scott ruined with the director's cut. This true? Do the Right Thing comes in next, which is a surprisngly diverse pick from the curmudgeons at the AFI.

The great thing about gambling on something like this is the actual pain we all felt when Yankee Doodle Dandy was read. How many non-film majors under the age of 60 have spent more than 10 seconds thinking about this movie?

I'm pretty sure people have stopped writing actual scripts for Morgan Freeman when he hosts something, instead counting on people being hypnotized by his voice.

Opening Montage: Ok, I love a montage more than practically anyone else I know. But this song is absolutely terrible, and hopefully misleading, because they just showed a clip of Return of the King and that's on Jared's ballot.

The opening music was so sappy that bette midler slapped whoever wrote it

Introduction: Hello to the two people out there reading this, but as things go here at 1410, we're liveblogging a television spectacle. This time around, its the AFI's re-issuing of the Top 100 Movies. Jared and I each already picked the movies we would have voted for on TTO and The Teev. We've also made our predictions, as has John Scholle. We'll update you on the scores as we go. Throughout this entire blog, italics denotes Jared

It's 7:56, the Nats are losing already, and we're almost at showtime. I'm pumped.

Sam Summer, pizza, and the prospect of taking Brian's money in some movie gambling. This is the life!

So if Hillary is supposed to be Tony...

2007-06-20T00:11:00.001-04:00

...then who is supposed to be AJ? Joe Biden? Ha, I kid.

Much of the political buzz this afternoon surrounded the parody the Clinton campaign produced of the Sopranos ending. The critical response has been generally positive, and it's baffling me. Unsurprisingly, I disagree wholeheartedly with Brunk, who giving "credit where credit is due," called it "possibly the coolest web stunt" pulled so far this year.

Dean Barnett over at Hughhewitt.com said it was hilarious.

From top to bottom, I can't figure out what people like about it. First off, why would you ever compare yourself to a sociopath like Tony Soprano, especially if you are running for President? Secondly, if one of the continuing memes of the campaign against your candidacy is that you are always fake and scripted, why would you put yourself in a web video where you're acting and reading a script. Third, and perhaps this is being a tad too picky, why include the random black dudes shot?

In the actual Sopranos ending, I saw the gang-banger shot as a joke of sorts to build up the tension, because of course Tony is going to assume the worst of two black guys. That was part of the show lore. Sure, the dudes in the Clinton parody were laughing around, but why bring back the memory of the earlier negative stereotype.

And the random Johnny Sack cameo?

Sure, Bill was funny, but the entire clip was stilted and forced -- two of the critiques that have had the most resonance on the Clinton campaign.

To make matters worse, they chose a CELINE DION song as the theme song. It'll be a long summer. And don't even get me started on the creepy, Stepfordian, yet irrestistably earnest Romney Christmas video.

The AFI Has Run Out of Ideas...

2007-06-18T23:52:00.000-04:00

So for the past 10 years, the American Film Institute has been shamelessly creating made-for-television specials counting down the 100 best movies, songs, villains, heroes, romances, comedies, etc... Some have been uber-lame (Cheers....way too few sports movies), and others have been pretty cool (quotes). But this year, they've run out of ideas, so they're updating their 100 Best Movies ever.

Jared and I will be going balls-to-the-wall with a liveblog coming at you Wednesday night. We also have a pick'em pool going, so if you are interested, let us know.

In advance, however, we decided to make a list of what we would have voted as the top 25 movies had we voted in the pool. The only rules were that we had to pick from the 400 movies (reg. required) placed on the ballot and that we had to use their criteria (Critical Commendation, Major Award Winner, Popularity Over Time, Historical Signifiance, Cultural Impact) as a guide in making our choices.

So...in alphabetical order, my Top 25:

All the President's Men
Bridge on the River Kwai
Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid
Citizen Kane
Dr. Strangelove
French Connection
Godfather
Godfather II
Goodfellas
Great Escape
LA Confidential
Lawrence of Arabia
LotR: FotR
Manchurian Candidate
North by Northwest
Pulp Fiction
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Rocky
The Right Stuff

Shawshank Redemption
Singin in the Rain
Star Wars
West Side Story
Usual Suspects
Wizard of Oz

Shish Kabob, what else do you need to know?

2007-06-10T23:50:00.000-04:00

So I can't lead off this post with a "Wow" because the series finale of the Sopranos had no "wow" to it. The episode was good, and I appreciated some of the angles it took, but it was rather ordinary in terms of pacing and plot development. As I said before, David Chase doesn't do satisfying, and nothing showed that more than the finale.

That all said, I had no real problem with it.

In our Web 2.0 society, the capability of normal people to voice their opinions (in blogs such as these) and make their voice heard through citizen activism has created a sense of entitlement that I cannot stand. Bloggers and others (opinion anchors like O'Reilly) get indignant when something doesn't go their way, or someone doesn't agree to talk to them. It happens in politics, sports, and general entertainment. People feel that they are "owed" something or other just because of who they are.

There's a fundamental lack of respect for a person's political position or artistic vision, that the expert needs to cowtow to what people expect of them, just because. No real reason.

And to get back to the Sopranos, I'm not looking forward to the fans who will write that they felt "betrayed" by the anti-climactic ending. David Chase is a television visionary. Be happy that you were along for the ride, and express thanks for the years of quality television.

As for the episode, so it didn't go out with a big bang. The finale still wasn't a disaster. Life has come full circle for the Soprano family: AJ (whose military exploits I came very close to nailing in my predictions) is slowly becoming his father with a flashy car who complains about his dramatic mother; Meadow is perhaps even deeper in denial about the Mafia than Carmela; Tony is once again in legal trouble but is stronger because of his dutiful wife; the New York family is now in a peaceful arrangement with New Jersey; Janice is shrewd, greedy, and husbandless; and most importantly, the ducks are returning.

Everything that was old is new again, whether you like it or not.

The Sopranos Comes to a Close

2007-06-08T11:57:00.000-04:00

Well, this post comes a few days later than I had originally planned, but I've gotten to absorb everyone else's thoughts (Slate, all the TK guests, Shuppy, et. al.), and now below are my predictions. And I agree with the smart money: Tony lives.

To start, Tony dying is too much of a tight resolution to resolve the series. David Chase doesn't do "satisfying", to address what Coop said in the comments of my last post . While I don't think he will leave everything unresolved and up-in-the-air, if Tony were to be killed by Phil Leotardo and crew, that would be disturbing and frustrating. Phil has come in too late to the series to be the guy who throws down the final solution.

That last sentence rings true for a lot of people, which is why others think Paulie has flipped on Tony and he'll be the one to stab the boss in the back. Paulie is too weak-willed and frenetic to be trusted to carry out anything of that magnitude. With Sil's death, Paulie has to know he's the #2 (to Tony's chagrin), so why would he jeopardize that to be, at best, a 5th/6th guy in the hierarchy in the New York family. Phil is no Johnny Sack.

Not only will Tony survive, but he will be alone at the top, since he got rid of Phil (somehow). As Tony realizes that he only has Paulie (the incompetent, not Machiavellian Paulie that botched the Leotardo hit) as his counsel, he will feel resigned to his position. He can't leave the mob, but he doesn't want to stay in the mob. His Faustian bargain has done him in, and he is isolated with neither Melfi nor Carmela (who has finally left him for financial security).

Quick rundown of final fates:

AJ: Joins the Army, goes to Iraq.
Carmela: Leaves Tony, goes into real estate
Meadow: Patsy Parisi dies, his son takes up the business, Meadow realizes the bed she is making and leaves to live with Carmela. The Meadow dying scenarios are stupid, because David Chase would never want to associate himself with the stench of Godfather 3. That's like making a biopic of Janis Joplin and basing it on Glitter.
Paulie: Alive and still laughing.
Phil: Dead. As is his toadstool #2.
The Terrorists: A red herring, never to return. Like the Russian.
The Feds: Try to flip Tony, back to square one in the RICO case.
Janice: Distraught, but vows to be a strong single mother.

Did I miss anything?

A couple of three things...

2007-06-04T11:50:00.000-04:00

To quote the eminently quotable, and not-dead-yet Phil Leotardo (not Leonardo, because of the idiots at Ellis Island), a "couple of three things" about last night's episode of the Sopranos. Overall, I thought it was good, but not nearly as powerful as it could have been. If you're still reading here and haven't watched the show yet, you're an idiot. Stop reading.

But with the death of Bobby and near-death of Sil, I'd have thought Chase and Co. could have packed a couple of painful punches to the gut. Bobby's death scene was intentionally foreshadowed with the cell phone ringing in the car, so it made the train store scene difficult to watch...but it was more Scorcese-esque than a bonafide Sopranos scene. I loved the part with the train and the people covering their eyes.

Sil's (near) death was as sudden as Christopher's, but not all that surprising since they already took Bobby out. I'm torn here, because aren't I supposed to be more upset and shaken by the death of two major characters? Christopher's death was really shocking, but not so here. Anyone else feel the same?

Melfi's scenes were bizarelly shot, and I think really distracted from the overall episode. The zoom-in on the psych study was very weird and unnecessarily over-the-top, and the dinner scene with Dr. Kupferberg (?) was cartoonish. Kornheiser's "Colors of Benneton" reference was perfect for the scene, and neither Melfi or Kupferberg were in character. Besides, who goes to a social dinner with their shrink? That's just awkward.

The one thing I did like about Melfi's farewell to Tony was the reverse-godfather sequence with the doors shutting. Unlike Kay having the "Godfather" world shut down to her, in last night's ep, Tony has his enabler shut down to him. Or am I stretching here.

Other thoughts:

Tony draining the pool was a clear signal that bad stuff was about to go down. Throughout the show, the pool has been the symbol of rebirth/life in the Soprano household. The series started there with the ducks, the Soprano marriage was rekindled in the pool, and AJ's life was saved by Tony during the ill-fated pool suicide attempt.
That scene with Tony finally giving it to AJ was brutal. I'll say it again: Iler has been brilliant this season in showing AJ's patheticity (made up word, but I like it).
Great to see Artie Bucco show up again, although I dunno if he'll return for the final ep. His "constitutional law" line was typical Artie: feigning interest while looking like a tool.
The Mangini cameo was classy. I doubt that the NFL or the Jets approved that appearance.

My prediction for the final week? Check later this week for a Tony/Phil analysis...and predictions.

Dessert first, dinner tomorrow

2007-06-04T01:09:00.000-04:00

So the Sopranos was bone-chillingly brutal last night, but I want a night to ponder some things, because constitutional law (writing and all) is a tough nugget to crack.

Fortunately, Entourage came on afterwards and was the perfect after-dinner mint to the dark/heavy Sopranos. The plot line continues to focus on Medellin, and this time they brought in Adam Goldberg, playing a Jewish trust fund kid, and everyone's favorite psychotic director, Billy Walsh.

The entire "convince Walsh to do the movie" scene was fantastic. From Wally Balls (future nickname?) to the "midget porn" extras walking around to Walsh's vision for the future of porn, it was absolutely hilarious. The Entourage writers/directors are so good at making the absurd seem normal for Vinny Chase and co., and this episode was no exception.

Not nearly enough Ari this time around, although the previews for next episode is a good omen. I kind of wish something good would happen to them this season...I'm finding it increasingly hard to believe that anyone as famous as the fictional Vince could ever be so stupid with his money. That's what he has Jewish agents and accountants for...

Did anyone watch the Adrian Grenier documentary about searching for his father? And does anyone out there actually care who his father is? Could they have picked any less of an interesting HBO star to go search for his father? I'd be surprised if Adrian is any deeper than Vince...or is that just crude type casting.

Check this space for Sopranos tomorrow.

Welcome to the Blogosphere

2007-05-30T23:14:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to my boy Sammy "Trash" Akkoush, who has started a new blog with the sisters Akkoush. His thoughts on the first Real World Reunion episode are priceless. I look forward to more from him.

As for the show, wow, it's awful. The only reason I've even kept up with it through the first half hour is so I can relate to Sammy's musings. The hypocrisy of these people, especially Arissa, is mind-numbingly stupid. If you didnt want to rehash these supposedly horrible memories, then don't come back on the show. She's totally going to be the wet blanket on this episode...good call Sammy.

But I have to disagree with his sentiment on Frank. He's the man, and he can drunkenly screw around with anyone he wants. He's in Vegas, there are no rules.

I've spent way too much time discussing Real World Vegas: Part Deux. Next up, some Sopranos talk during the Sopranos bye week.

Top 5 Breakfast Cereals

2007-05-23T11:41:00.001-04:00

Not TV related, but I'm taking a cue from the D.C. Sports Bog here, who asked DC United player Bobby Boswell about his cereal love, and what his top five cereals were. From the post:

See, when Boswell lived with his parents, he would go to the grocery store and buy literally 10 boxes of cereal at a time. (He really likes cereal.) Then
he moved out, and discovered that cereal was expensive. Thus, he had to be a bit
picky to avoid bankrupting himself on cereal, and he came up with his Top Five,
and when he went to the grocery store he would limit himself to the names on
that list.
His list, in no particular order:
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Trix
Honey Nut Cheerios
Honey Smacks
Honey-Comb

I also take my cereal very seriously, as underlined by my reaction to Jared's recent egregious error in buying Kix, as if that were a cereal that anyone would actually want to eat. And Boswell's right, cereal IS expensive. So my buying habits are usually dictated by what is on sale.

But if I had my druthers, here are my top 5 cereals, also in no particular order.

Special K (For when I have fresh berries and feel healthy)
Sugar Golden Crisp (much better than Honey Smacks)
Capn Crunch (Beware of the Soggies)
Apple Jacks (One of my 5-Fruits-a-Day)
Crispix (See Special-K)

Honorable Mention: Honeycomb, Frosted Mini-Wheats (gets soggy too easily), Lucky Charms, Frosted Krispies.

What're your top 5?

Updated Soprano Thoughts -- Vol I, Post ii

2007-05-22T11:03:00.001-04:00

A few straggling thoughts that I forgot to include in the earlier post.

I've found it interesting in how Tony and AJ respond to their respective psychiatrists. Tony never tells the full truth to Dr. Melfi, sometimes even lying to himself and to her to avoid tackling the real issues. It's readily apparent, however, that AJ is an open book and told his psych all about his problems. Ironically, neither of them seem to have been helped by their "terapy".
I agree with Tony Soprano that AJ was too pathetic and incompetent to pull of his own suicide.
Maybe I was wrong about the whole jihadist thing. Slate's Tim Noah sees a possible connection, and my friend Seth also thinks that the al-Jazeera Web site could go somewhere. I'm still not convinced. I think the AJ plot line is done for the season, with him remaining in the hospital under observation as the show closes out. I can't figure out what the point is of the two terrorists...but we'll see.
Annie and I both want to know, "WHERE IS ARTIE BUCCO????"
Since this is somewhat mob related, this YouTube mashup of the Godfather IV: Fredo's Revenge is brilliant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dtf_Gxy9ZRY&eurl=

How to Clean (Practically) Anything - Sopranos Thoughts, Vol I

2007-05-21T16:31:00.000-04:00

I want to throw these thoughts down now, so I can continue to read Slate's brilliant analysis and skim and get frustrated by inane commentary from the likes of David Poland and Jonah Goldberg. Both need to step out of their usual boundaries and forget making bizarre connections to their day-jobs. Tony and Christopher were like Eisner and Ovitz? Whaaa? A.J. as an Islamic jihadist? Seriously??

Instead of long-form analysis, I think I'm just going to go bullet points from here on out.

Am I the only one who thought that A.J. was going to die for sure? After last week's offing, I figured that it was only a matter of time before someone else prominent died in the show. The suicide scene was really rough to watch...absolutely brutal.
On a similar note, Robert Iler has been phenomenal this season. Absolutely brilliant in showing how A.J. has matured...and not matured, in still throwing out random factoids that disturb his world view, just as he always has. If the Emmys meant anything, I would jump on his lobbying campaign in an instant.
I hope that smarter people than I, (Tim Noah, please?) give me some reasoned an indepth analysis of the significance of The Second Coming. Annie Shuppy, my Sopranos enabler, raises a good point: Will Yeats poems jump up the Amazon charts thanks to A.J.?
And if Yeats poems don't...will How to Clean Practically Anything make it?
Carmela Soprano is really losing it. She's turned into Laura Linney's character from the Truman Show, where she turns into total housewife mode and shuts down mentally, hoping to brush the problem under the carpet. From her reaction to the Vegas watch to the scene where she blamed Tony for A.J.'s problems, I can see her cracking under the pressure in the next two episodes.

Speaking of which...

We are clearly headed for a Phil/Tony showdown to end the show. I am still backing the "Tony is Michael Corleon at the end of Godfather I" scenario, where he has Phil and his crew killed, and Carmine Jr. brings the family under Tony's thumb.
BUt Tony is also going to have to clear ranks in his own family...and I mean literally. There was some discussion this morning on Tony Kornheiser's show about why Phil was hiding upstairs, and why he suddenly backed out of their meeting. That led me to believe that one of Tony's capos is double-dealing, a la Paulie with Johnny Sack.
It's not Paulie Walnuts this time...it's Bobby Bacala. With Janice's urging, he's letting Phil in on the scoop. Tony is going to have to kill Bobby...and perhaps Janice...to get them out of the problem. Some of Tony's guys may have to die too...perhaps Paulie or Patsy?
This is all idle speculation, but you can read more thoughts if you want at another guy who's opinion I really respect: Creed Bratton.

Upfronts: The CW...not appealing to anyone

2007-05-18T15:47:00.000-04:00

For the last of the upfront preview/reviews, we go to everyone's favorite network to ignore: The CW. And now that they've dropped Veronica Mars for what appears to be a slate filled with replacements that lack any ingenuity, I don't know if any serious TV watchers will even give the network a shot.

But I'm not serious, so let's give it a go. 8 new programs.

SHOW 1: Aliens in America
Guess: An absurd and tasteless comedy set in a 1980s Midwest suburb where a nerdy red-head and his Muslim friend deal with puberty in supposedly farcical manners. A total Malcom-in-the-Middle rip-off.
Actual: "Sixteen-year-old Justin Tolchuk is just another awkward teen trying to keep a low profile when his mother decides to take in a foreign exchange student. When Raja Musharaff, a Pakistani Muslim, arrives, he and Justin find common ground in trying to survive high school in America."
Verdict: Pretty close…although I got the time wrong. I'm exceptionally skeptical, since terrorist jokes are only funny if they are done well, or if done by members from the Axis of Evil. None of the above exist for the CW.

SHOW 2: CW Now
Guess: No picture.
Actual: Series stays on top of the latest trends in fashion, technology and activities as well as the gossip on celebrities.
Verdict: If Billy Bush isn't reporting it, then it didn't happen.

SHOW 3: Gossip Girl
Guess: Rich, spoiled high school students have lots of sex while lying, cheating, and stealing from each other. Like the O.C. but for kids from New England.
Actual: "Based on the books of the same name that revolve around the lives of privileged Manhattan prep school teens whose scandalous lives are revealed online by the mysterious blogger known only as Gossip Girl."
Verdict: School girl outfits aside, this actually is from the people who did the O.C., so expect blatant self-plagiarism.

SHOW 4: Life is Wild
Guess: Another family drama about an overbearing father, a rebellious son, a slutty daughter…and the wise old grandpa. The setting is….a former ghost town in Colorado? Are they going to be the first residents of Kid Nation(link)?
Actual: A veterinarian moves his entire family to live in a game preserve in South Africa. As the family struggles to adjust to life away from the Big Apple, they learn to appreciate the friendly locals, the breathtaking vistas and the wild animals that surround them.
Verdict: OHH. South Africa. I totally forgot that television programs can exist outside of the United States. The "friendly locals"? That's just asking for racial stereotypes.

SHOW 5: Online Nation
Guess: No picture.
Actual: The web's viral videos are featured weekly.
Verdict: As Ian said when we discussed this yesterday: "It's like America's Funniest Home Videos, but even worse, somehow." I just wish there was some massive Web site where we could watch viral videos in one place, whenever we want to watch them instead of waiting for a weekly TV program to air.

SHOW 6: Reaper
Guess: A sit-com set between three employees at a home furnishings store (think Bed, Bath, & Beyond); one down-on-his luck writer resigned to work in retail, his girlfriend, and his high school friend who has no ambition as plucky relief. The vice president from last season's 24 is their manager.
Actual: Sam's parents never asked much of him, allowing him to become the best slacker he could be. It turns out, they didn't expect any future for him because they had already sold his soul to the devil, who wants Sam as his new bounty hunter.
Verdict: Wait. What?? They're stealing from FAUST…and this is the best they could come up with? Just rent Damn Yankees, its better, and it features the Washington Senators/Nationals.

SHOW 7: Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
Guess: No picture.
Actual: Mother/daughter pairs from all walks of life will compete in a beauty pageant to showcase their teamwork, sense of style, stance on issues, dance coordination and sense of humor.
Verdict: They cancelled Veronica Mars, a show I never even appreciated that much, for this??

SHOW 8: Farmer Wants a Wife
Guess: No picture.
Actual: Premise: A rural farmer evaluates 10 city gals to see if one will fit into his country lifestyle as his wife.
Verdict: Well, no awards for subtlety to the title of the show. But see above regarding my true thoughts.

The one where Brian gets nothing right...

2007-05-17T14:46:00.000-04:00

Two days in a row? It's a new record! Anyway, under the same premise as yesterday, here are the 10 (!) new FOX shows:

SHOW 1: Back to You
Guess: Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton play a pair of newscasters with an on-again-off-again relationship on a fledgling network that will do anything to get a bump in ratings.
Actual: "After an embarrassing incident, a big city news anchor has to head back to his old market, where he has to re-team with his former co-anchor, who also happens to be his ex."
Verdict: This was an easy one to predict, but as to the actual prospects: Grammer is paired back up again with Christopher Lloyd (no, not that one) who was his producer on Frasier. But FOX has never done the traditional sit-com justice, so I can't see it working here.

SHOW 2: K-ville
Guess: A group of bad-ass cops seek to restore order in South Central Los Angeles, forgoing official protocol and pissing off the press in the meanwhile.
Actual: "Two years after Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans is far from rebuilt, a city full of criminals with an under-manned and unprepared police force. Two partners patrol the streets of the Big Easy, doing their part to save the city."
Verdict: Not a great prediction. But what a cast! TV has-beens, from the ominous presence of John Carroll Lynch, to Jared's favorite actor, Anthony Anderson…how could this show succeed?

SHOW 3: Kitchen Nightmares
Guess: No picture
Actual premise: Gordon Ramsey travels the country visiting restaurants in crisis and helping them get their kitchens back in order.
Verdict: Even for someone who loves the Food Network: Yawn.

SHOW 4: Nashville
Guess: No picture
Actual premise: The folks who brought you "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County" take you to a different part of the country for a whole new set of soapy unscripted adventures, this time focusing on the Nashville music scene and the city's high society.
Verdict: Um, you had me at "Laguna Beach." Sign me up.

Show 5: New Amsterdam
Guess: Not-Aaron-Eckhart stars as a New York City police detective bent on protecting young girls from sex offenders.
Actual: "John Amsterdam in the 17th century and served as a Dutch solider in the colony of New Amsterdam. That makes it really strange that in 2007, he's still working as a New York City homicide detective. Funny what a little immortality will do."
Verdict: WTF? Really? An immortal police detective who doesn't age? Don't you think someone would notice that this premise is absurd and WAY too high-concept for FOX?

Show 6: The Search for the Next Great American Band
Guess: No picture
Actual: "Instead of looking for undiscovered singers, the producers of "American Idol" seek out undiscovered bands. Everything else is the same."
Verdict: That last sentence pretty much says it all.

Show 7: Canterbury's Law
Guess: No picture
Actual: "A rebellious female defense attorney, in a strained marriage to a law professor, is willing to do whatever it takes to protect the wrongfully accused."
Verdict: Obscure literary reference? Check. Conventional law drama? Check. Midseason replacement to be endlessly plugged during the NFL playoffs? Check. Gone in 5 eps or less? Check.

Show 8: The Return of Jezebel James
Guess: PARKER POSEY!!!! And Lauren Ambrose to boot! After the death of their mother, an attractive young red-head goes and lives with her older, more mature, and attractive older sister and the two cope as working ladies in San Francisco.
Actual: "A busy book editor has to turn to her estranged younger sister to carry her baby."
Verdict: Closest I've been in a while. Um, did I mention that it has Parker Posey in it? She follows the Jodie Foster Corollary: She does not make bad movies/shows.

Show 9: The Rules for Starting Over
Guess: A young couple moves to the suburbs for a place of their own, but end up sharing their house with their two wacky neighbors, one of whom always wears a tie.
Actual: "A group of newly single friends learn that dating in your 30s is very different from dating in your 20s."
Verdict: So if Rashida Jones is on this show….how could she possibly be on The Office for Season 4? Either way, the cast includes "Johnny Sneed." That has to be a made up name, kind of like Alan Smithee.

Show 10: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Guess: This is a real toughie, but I'm going with a teacher of indiscriminate sexuality takes in a young ruffian student as hisher new protégé. They may or may not have a romantic connection.
Actual: Boy was I wrong. "Filling in the gaps between the second and third "Terminator" films, Sarah Connor and her son John, humanity's future savior, must fight to stay alive in a dangerous world full of threats both from the present and the future."
Verdict: Clearly, if I had read the title of the series, I'd have known what was going on. I actually have high hopes for this, and I haven’t even seen any of the Terminator films. It just sounds like it could be fun.

Stay tuned for later CW updates.

The Return of the Teev: CBS Upfronts

2007-05-16T11:29:00.000-04:00

The Teev is back. I've been missing the television writing for a while, so why not jump in with the upfronts happening this week. I'll be trying to update the blog at least 3-4 times a week from now on.

Yesterday, I caught up on the NBC/ABC schedules for next season and discovered a thoroughly enjoyable game. Look at the promotion photo, ignore the show's title, guess the premise of the show. Unsurprisingly, the success rate is rather high. So now, for you, my guesses for the new CBS lineup. Because CBS is the most successful network, however, they are only premiering 6 new shows, as opposed to NBC's 8 and ABC's 12.

SHOW 1: BIG BANG THEORY
Guess: 2 geeky college friends are looking for a third roommate and a hot ditzy blonde moves in; the two friends battle over her love in a typical New York City romance.
Actual: "Two geniuses get lucky when a beautiful young woman moves in next door and decides to teach them a few things about the world outside of physics."
Verdict: Spot on.

SHOW 2: CANE
Guess: Jimmy Smits plays the mayor of a small sailing town in California, and must deal with his teenage daughter's love life and the volatile politics of small-town America.
Actual: "A South Florida family runs their successful rum and sugar business while dealing with both professional and personal turmoil."
Verdict: Not very good…I picked the wrong state for a leading Hispanic male actor.

SHOW 3: KID NATION
Guess: This show already looks dreadful. A group of children who live with their divorced parents in the suburbs band together to prevent their enemies in the world, the principal and the big bully down the street, from ruining their friendship.
Actual: "Forty kids between the ages of 8 and 15 are given 40 days to build a new community -- complete with their own cooking, businesses and government -- in the ghost town of Bonanza City, New Mexico."
Verdict: Dammit, I didn't realize this was going to be a reality show. I forgot those are in the mix here, and I totally would have gone a different route. Wrong again.

SHOW 4: MOONLIGHT
Guess: An up-and-coming private attorney in New York decides that money isn't everything and chooses to devote his life to helping out the homeless.
Actual: "A vampire for 60 years, Mick St. James works as a private investigator, dealing with the difficulties of immortality, a slew of undead adversaries and his love for a mortal woman."
Verdict: Shoot. Didn't see that one coming. Mick St. James is a typical bad name for a show like this, though.

SHOW 5: VIVA LAUGHLIN
No picture. Drat. Some dramedusical bastardization produced by Hugh Jackman and set in Las Vegas. Sounds too high-concept to me.

SHOW 6: SWINGTOWN
Guess: A period-series based in the 1970s about a factory-worker dad and how he copes with the changing times.
Actual: "Residents of a Chicago suburb in the '70s are into couple swapping, open marriages and key parties, but they soon come to realize that their alternative lifestyle comes with its own complications."
Verdict: I got the era right, and the whole "changing times" thing. Will a show about swingers really be successful? I'm skeptical.

Finale Results: I was terrible this time around. Do any of these shows look appealing to you? If the Jimmy Smits show enters Scarface territory, being dark and twisted, I could see that being good. I do love my rum. Otherwise, CBS should just stick to its predictable procedural dramas and unfortunately popular sit-coms.

Final Wrap-Up

2006-03-05T23:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting. We've learned next to nothing, other than that they speak Afrikaans in South Africa. And that people in Los Angeles like watching movies about people in Los Angeles, especially if it depicts them as racists.

Its too bad, because I was looking forward to the columns about how gay people are corrupting society. No one will write that racists are corrupting society, thats not controversial enough. Any last thoughts, Jared?

I thought this year's Academy Awards were pretty well done, save for the excessive montages. And Jon Stewart was fantastic as the host. I hope they invite him back next year.

Gavin won the pool. I will hate him forever.

Thanks to Brian for letting me come over and liveblog with him and his family. I had a great time, and I hope we get to do this again next year.

Let's hug and pitch a pup tent together. Later.

Best Picture

2006-03-05T23:23:00.000-05:00

Oh Man, its 11:22 on my computer right now. This line was so close, but sadly, it will be too late.

Jack looks and acts like he has been drinking and smoking nonstop for 72 hours, this is fantastic.

I can't believe Crash won. This not only means that Roger Ebert is right, but that another crappy movie won best picture. I would have been fine if Brokeback had won over my choice, Munich, but Crash? It was not about racism...it was about pretending to care about racis...ugh, forget this crap. Bring back Jon Stewart.

Wow. The worst movie in the category won. Terrible. Just terrible. The Oscars had actually been doing pretty well this year, I thought (save for supporting actor). But man. What a sour note to end on. Horrible.

And they cut her mic off just while she was thanking her "wife"...and another commercial? Blech. Let's have Jonny boy sign off, for his THIRD appearance since Jared set the line of five. Guess the gambling is a wash.

And it looks like Gavin won the pool. You suck.

Where's Jack....oh, and the best director award

2006-03-05T23:18:00.000-05:00

My dad wisely pointed out that they haven't shown Jack Nicholson much tonight. Maybe thats because he hasn't been in a good movie in a long while. He might want to work on that.

Best Director....no surprise, Ang Lee gets the award. How fluent is he in English? Not too bad, although he did repeat the ubiquitous "I wish I could quit you" line, for no reason whatsoever. Camera shot of the Angry Oscar Winner reveals that the woman does know how to smile. Good for her.

Say what you want about Brokeback, I think this award is just making up for the snub of The Hulk. Also, I'm pretty sure Ang Lee thanked David Lee Roth. That rocks.

No, he said David Lee. And the Hulk sucked. And there's Jack milking it like only Jack can.

Original Screenplay

2006-03-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

Thank god Syriana didnt win. The guy put an IKEA in Rockville, MD, my hometown. There is no IKEA in Rockville. Friggin idiot.

But then Crash won. Which is a crappy movie. These two guys are racist, I just know it. You know how? Because according to them, we're all a little bit racist. But I learned that from Avenue Q, the musical that mocked Sesame Street. I don't need it from a hackneyed farce of a movie.

Really, it is a crying shame that the Academy decided to go with a movie that got a lot of buzz as opposed to a movie that was actually well-written, like, say, The Squid and the Whale. I'm kinda wondering if Squid/Whale or Match Point took place in LA if they would have stood a better shot of taking this Oscar down. Paul Haggis is an unsubtle writer who hides behind Important Social Issues and is a great symbol for everything that went wrong with the Oscar nominations this year.

Squid and the Whale was a brilliant movie...I hope Noah Baumbach gets recognized for his future offerings, he'll deserve it.

Screenplay Award for Adapted Stuff

2006-03-05T23:09:00.000-05:00

Ok Dustin...quit milking your few moments of Oscar time and lets finish this thing. And I am so screwed on the 11:24 end time. Oh well.

For adapted screenplay, the Oscar goes to the Brokeback clan. Not too much of a surprise there. When you can take a 10 page short story and make it into a two-hour movie, thats impressive.

Of course, Tony Kushner took a discredited memoir and made into a 2.5-hr thriller, but he is a self-loathing Jew who hates Israel, right? Right?

And for being a good writer, that woman cannot write a good acceptance speech.

OK, look at Larry McMurtry for a sec. This man is capable of penning a movie that had such a profound social impact? Frankly, I'm surprised he is able to make his own breakfast in the morning. He looks like George Will, if George Will drank.

She is the angriest looking Oscar winner ever. How about you smile.

Is Uma Thurman the basis for the Corpse Bride?

For the record

2006-03-05T23:04:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the people at Defamer for spotting this humorous gaffe. Next thing you know, Colin Ferrell will be presenting the award for Best Picture.

Actress before Screenwriting?

2006-03-05T22:58:00.000-05:00

Does the crew over at SAG have blackmail against the producer of the Oscars? How is it that the actor and actress awards are given out before screenplay?

Reese is so cute...Im looking forward to this speech. And Felicity looked pretty damn magnanimous in her loss.

Thank you Voice-Over Man for another fascinating factoid about Reese Witherspoon's upbringing. Who decided that he should say this crap?

You know, thinking about it, I think Reese's performance depending a whole lot on Phoenix's. And I think that clip showed it. But whatever, I'm happy for her. Good job Reese. I'd say I'm pissed for Dame Judi Dench, but she already has enough awards and stuff. She'll live.

And she's a dame. She doesn't need an Oscar. They keep showing Ryan Witherspoon for his reaction shots. Poor guy, who would have thought back in the days of Cruel Intentions that he would always be the less-talented person in that marriage.

I'm not sure, but I think I saw Reese Witherspoon's chin used as weapon on Battlebots once.

Cinematography

2006-03-05T22:53:00.000-05:00

This is a great award, mostly because everyone thinks that they're being very artistic when judging films on their cinematography. To the public, cinematography is just "did it look cool"...when its probably much more than that.

Can't believe "Memoirs" picked up another award. Did anyone see this movie? Sort of an odd choice, but maybe Crash and Brokeback split up the votes.

And for those keeping track at home, Gavin is unofficially one up on Brian, but I need to double check that.

Also, Mafia 3 six jokes will never get old.

Out of nowhere....comes an award that matters

2006-03-05T22:45:00.000-05:00

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was so good as Capote...and now they're showing the clip of Terrence Howard. And the guy with him, Anthony Anderson, was robbed of his oscar for "Kangaroo Jack." A crying shame.

Heath Ledger has some bad-facial hair, but at least he doesn't have Tom Hanks' mop of hair.

Joaquin Phoenix is so creepy-looking. Man.

He totally has the John Malkovich "weird guy" thing going for him.

No surprise here, but will Hoffman "bark like a dog" as he promised? I appreciate his craft, but his next film is "Mission Impossible: III"...I doubt he'll make a repeat performance at the Oscar stand for that role.

Hey, he gets to play the bad guy in the movie. Those are always fun roles to act in, and to watch. He'll be great.

Alright PSH, you're wearing out your welcome...ah, finally he shut up. Isn't John Travolta ALWAYS standing by to do something? They probably have guys just waiting in the wings in case someone doesnt show up. John Travolta is first up, but to be sure, they have Kevin Bacon, Kevin Costner, and Val Kilmer as backups.

Film Editing

2006-03-05T22:41:00.000-05:00

How is it pronounced Zooey? Where is the o or the u in that first name? It's spelled Ziyi. Cmon! Anglicize, bitch!

At this point, I think everyone is just biding their time until the big awards. So I'll take this time to thank all the commenters out there from TTO. And the goofball anonymous guy who thinks that I am king. Thanks, Dad.

And thanks to Stork and Crocker for reading and watching. This is like an acceptance speech, but not as long and it has a point.

I want to shout to Ian for the Edgar Martinez reference.

And to Ben. Thanks for keeping us company. And your fetish for pregnant women is just disgusting. But hey, I'm just glad I don't have to compete with you for Ms. Alba's attention.

Over/Under Betting Time

2006-03-05T22:36:00.000-05:00

When the Oscar telecast ends: 11:24. What do you take Jared?

We've still got just under ten categories left, including all of the biggies (save for the supporting awards). I'm definitely taking the over. I'm pretty confident in that one.

Brian wants me to give him a different line...hmm...OK, number of Jon Stewart appearances. I'll put the line at five.

I will take the under on that. It's risky...but hopefully it will be four appearances. What language is Tsotsi in? What do they speak in South Africa? Anyone?

Another mahnnnntajjjj

2006-03-05T22:31:00.000-05:00

But this is the expected one, in memoriam. Let's each pick our "wait, he hadnt died yet" person.

You know you've made it when "adventures in babysitting" is one of your bigger credits. Wow

Thats kind of surprising that Richard Pryor lived that long...with all the drugs he did? That's impressive.

This is gonna sound terrible, but this year kinda lacked star power, you know? I mean, sure, Richard Pryor and Anne Bancroft. But third is Eddie Albert? Really? Props to everyone for staying alive, I guess.

Surprise at the Oscars? and more Sound Mixing....

2006-03-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

Wow...an actual upset. See, now why are all the christian conservatives so angry at gangster rap? These guys are the only ones who will ever say "Thank you Jesus" in Hollywood. They're on the same side! Of course, they just got bleeped on national television, so who knows.

I'm glad the best song won, just a little sad more movies couldn't work in better songs. Oh well, maybe next year.

Stewart is really doing well tonight. Mocking the dancing...and the montages. More political ads! These are brilliant.

I kind of wish that Jennifer Garner would have fallen. Because that would have been funny and spontaneous.

Another win for King Kong....good for them.

Shyamamalamadingdong

2006-03-05T22:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm a bit biased in that I've really liked all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies. But that AmEx ad with him was quite cool.

And I guess we've reached the point where we have Oscar-night commercials...bringing it one step closer to being the "Super Bowl for Women."

except for us, of course. Because we are totally not women.

LUDACRIS!!!! Fantastic. He rocks.

They should have had a disclaimer before showing this segment in case anyone out there suffers from seizures. Overdoing the strobe light a bit.

You know something? This song was the best of the three, by far. And isn't even really that good. The throwback Phillies hat definitely helps. Dancers? Not so much.

I'm really pissed Sting couldn't get a song in this year. He would have won with ease.

I dont know what Jared would have done in an Oscars with both Jessica Alba and Sting. Who would he have chosen to go home with? The interpretative dance is dreadful...and embarassing.

Robert Altman Pity Prize

2006-03-05T22:05:00.000-05:00

Are Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep drunk? If they are, can we start a petition to have them fired like the idiots over on exposetheleft.com have for David Gregory? As if it is even our prerogative to have them fired?

These are two are so off-the-wall...they're coming close to outshining Jon Stewart. What the hell are they talking about? ohhh...they're introducing Robert Altman for the lifetime achievement award.

I'd say they'll show a montage of all of his films, but I think they already have.

I dunno, I think the Streep-Tomlin was a good idea in theory, but a tad overdone. Also, Gosford Park was way overrated. But I'm just bitter than everyone said it was a murder mystery and it totally wasn't. Really, his true test will be that new movie with Lindsay Lohan.

Sound Editing...or is it Mixing?

2006-03-05T22:02:00.000-05:00

Does anyone know the difference between Editing and Mixing? This seems like a waste of valuable Oscar real estate, right? Couldn't they be doing another montage instead of giving out two awards for sound stuff?

And King Kong picks up one sound award, bringing me back to one behind Gavin. There's irony, the mic being turned off for the sound mixing guy...or is he the sound editing guy?

Jessica Alba is so hot. It isn't even fair anymore. By the way, Walk the Line was robbed. The friggin' movie was about music. Johnny Cash is not happy, and we don't want to be around when he wreaks havoc in anger.

Another "Montage....."

2006-03-05T21:51:00.000-05:00

First, this "Sons and Daughters" shows a lot of promise...Jared is not as confident. Then they have to show a promo for "American Inventor" proving that network television has a long way to go. That show was cool when it was called "Dr. Fad Show" on PBS. That was a decade ago.

The teleprompter operator is so fired. And these montages are so forced...Grease is an epic? Let's do musicals and epic movies together....where's that "Team America: World Police" song when you need it?

Good lord, what counts as epic these days? Every movie? Looks like they got things together later in the montage, but the beginning was a little silly, I think. Also, what is the point of these montages? We all already like to watch movies, otherwise we wouldn't be watching the Oscars, for crying out loud. I guess they were worried the Oscars would run too short?

And they used the edited version of E.T. without the guns! Stupid Spielberg and his domination of Hollywood.

Good work by Stewart on mocking the montages.

Best Original Score

2006-03-05T21:45:00.000-05:00

Wow. Salma Hayek is hot. And packing puppies, if you know what I mean.

Bill Conti! Rocky rules! It is an outrage that Rocky IV wasn't in the Movies that Address Social Issues Montage. An outrage.

And where was "Soylent Green is People!" Cmon! What about a scene from "The Island"? If you can put "Something's Gotta Give" in there, you can find a place for other bad movies.

Usually one of my favorite categories now, but none of these are that inspirational. And Itzhak Perlman playing all the scores is cool, but it doesnt really fit with percussion heavy scores like Constant Gardeners. Or the guitar strumming of Brokeback's score....which should win.

It's kind of strange that Brokeback's score has become so well known...mostly due to the mashups like Brokeback to the Future. Kind of a strange repercussion, but it is a rather good melody.

Shocker....yay for the Argentinian dude...thanks for that relevant factoid voice-over announcer guy.

President of the AMPAS

2006-03-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

This guy is quite the master of the obvious. Couldn't we just have some more shots of Jessica Alba instead? Or more Jon Stewart shtick? He was on a roll.

Oh no! A shot at Mark Cuban? Wow. Cuban's gonna go apeshit on this guy. This means friggin' war.

Oh wow, thanks for propping up the economy of New Orleans. Way to pat yourself on the back man. Well done.

Art Direction

2006-03-05T21:28:00.000-05:00

Jared and I both decide that we hate television. This is after watching the promo for "Miracle Workers."

Give me scripted television, please.

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves....that is an amazing duo. Someone should make a movie with the two of them. Maybe an action movie on a bus that won't stop. Just an idea.

Jared's mom could actually be right on this one with King Kong...the 1930s New York was impressive. But...wait, Keanu can read?

Memoirs? ugh!

Samuel L. knows how to swagger....because he is one bad mother fucker.

Another really random clip montage here...this one's about important social issues? Aren't all Oscar moves about that?

Documentary Short and Documentary Long

2006-03-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

Gavin is so lucky. How did he know that a movie about some dude named Norman Corwin would beat a movie about Rwanda. CMON! It's RWANDA!

There's Charlize in her ugly dress again. And I'll be so disappointed when March of the Penguins wins...because it sucked.

And why is she wearing a beehive? I don't understand.

Stupid penguins. My dad says that they are all ventriloquists and that they are all puppets. And that French dude just one-upped the costume designer...he thanked ALL the children in the world, not just the Japanese children.

Actually, they thanked just the children who saw the movie. The other ones? They can go to hell.

Here comes J-Lo and her posterior.

Random clip montage?

2006-03-05T21:12:00.000-05:00

Lauren Bacall can't read the teleprompter. Thats not very funny, that's kind of sad. She deserves better. My brother thinks she may be drunk, but awww....I feel really bad for her. This is horrible. Poor woman! Not even Jon Stewart can save her.

L.A. Confidential music...great choice. I do have a softness for movie scores.

But what clip montage is this? I can't really figure it out. Is it a tribute to film noir? That seems like an awfully bizarre subject for a clip show in the usually "too long" Oscars.

And now I get why they chose LA Confidential's music, but still...weird.

Ahhh...here comes the Daily Show-esque shtick. This is great! A "political" ad for Keira Knightly...I am very impressed.

Best Supporting Actress

2006-03-05T21:04:00.000-05:00

Man, even Morgan Freeman messing up is entertaining to hear. His voice is so ridiculously awesome.

Brian's brother thinking PSH as Capote looks like Leo DiCaprio, I think he is smoking crack.

No, not crack, he's jusy my brother.

Rachael Weisz. Marry me! Marry me! Be my mistress!

Michelle Williams. MILF. Did they have to use the "You didn't go up there to fish" line?

And why did Morgan Freeman laugh after announcing her award? Because he knows she is gonna get with me after the show?

Jared, get your mind out of the gutter. Have they been in any movies together? I dunno.

Everyone but my mom took Rachael Weisz. And I took her in the biblical sense.

Man, sorry for the Rachael Weisz jokes. I'll stop. I swear.

By the way, I stand by my statement that Amy Adams got robbed.

Tech Awards

2006-03-05T21:02:00.000-05:00

Man, Brian is soooo disappointed that Rachael McAdams wasn't baring any cleavage. I'm disappointed it was so boring.

Best Makeup

2006-03-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

Presented by Will Ferrell and Steve Carell. And, once again, Will Ferrell is NOT FUNNY! EVER! Long live Steve Carell.

I like the contrast between Cinderella Man and the two fantasy movies in this one.

Oscar goes to: Chronicles of Narnia. Damn damn damn. Star Wars was robbed. Robbed, I tell you. It was their only nomination. Boo.

Anyway, Brian and Gavin up by two, then my dad and I, followed by my mom. And it was hilarious that the guy talked so long that the women didn't get to say anything?

Best Costume Design

2006-03-05T20:49:00.000-05:00

Can we rename this award the Project Runway Award? Seems more fitting somehow. And how did Walk the Line get nominated?

Oscar goes to Memoirs of A Geisha. The movie was designed to win the award. Gavin and Brian stay in the lead, and I pull into third.

Wow. A big thanks to the people of Japan? Really? That is insane. That is a lot of people to thank. And did they all really help make those costumes? I'm not so sure.

Best Live Action Short and Animated Short

2006-03-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

Ooooh, an inflation joke. Thanks, Wilson brothers.

And the Oscar goes to....Six Shooter. Yay? I dunno. Gavin and Brian surge into the lead.

Brian is eating, but he wants to say he really hates when they do animated characters presenting awards. Also, he is wondering about Chicken Little characters presenting, when ABC owns Disney, and Chicken Little is out on DVD soon.

Oscar for Best Animated Short.....The Moon and the Son! Damn. Shoulda gone with the clever name. Oh well. Oooh, Eli Wallach and John Turturro gave their voices to this? Damn. Wish I knew beforehand.

Best Animated Feature

2006-03-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

Circumcision joke! Always in good taste.

With only three nominees, seems to me that the best way to an Oscar might be making an animated movie. Oscar goes to Wallace and Gromit. No surprise, except for Gavin, who choked big time, and the pool is all even now.

These British guys bring new meaning to the term "fop"....they sound and look just like Wallace and Gromit. And the ties on the Oscars is a nice touch. I dont know what Gavin is thinking, these guys were winning Oscars with their original animated shorts, so I'm glad for them here.

And they're just very....British.

Out comes Naomi Watts in a skin-colored dress. And is introducing Dolly Parton....who cares about these songs? They're all dreadful.

Naomi Watts has such a gorgeous face, why distract from it with such a bad dress?

Wow, Dolly Parton looks really really scary. I hope she doesn't visit with too many little kids, otherwise they'll have nightmares for weeks. Speaking of nightmares, this song is terrible. Dolly should be ashamed of herself. The Oscars, too. This was one of the three best original songs? Pardon me if I'm a little skeptical. Words cannot express how dreadful this is. I'm glad Dolly Parton got people clapping, if only so we could see less shots of her (and more shots of white people awkwardly clapping).

Best Visual Effects

2006-03-05T20:23:00.000-05:00

Ugh, let's hope that all presenters aren't as awkward-sounding as Nicole Kidman. And that all speeches are as good as Clooney's.

Entertaining skit about how they are cutting off acceptance speeches this year. Too bad Tom Hanks' hair distracted from everything else. Man, what was he thinking?

Man, Ben Stiller is great. And Steven Spielberg needs to learn how to take a joke.

This shtick is cracking me up. And not too much of a surprise here with King Kong. That's the award it deserves. Although I always like how these special effect wizards are winning their 8th oscar while the actors scratch and claw to just win one.

Oscars- Best Supporting Actor

2006-03-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

Oscar goes to...this is crucial for our pool...George Clooney in Syriana? Ugh. Giamatti got screwed. We also hate you Gavin for getting it right.

I gotta give major props to Clooney for his comments before the Oscars about how he won't win an Oscar this year. Genius PR move, and it clearly paid off big time.

Awww, Giammati is going to cry. He should have won. But I'm glad that Clooney is addressing the "out of mainstream" issue, because he's actually making sense. No snarkiness, man, I'm looking forward to how the righties like Schlussel will hate on him for that one.

Oscars -- More Stewart

2006-03-05T20:08:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, Catherine. Be Still My Heart.

Jack Nicholson next to Keira Knightly? Amazing

That beehive is crazy on Charlize Theron, in addition to that thing on her shoulder. Bizarre. This monologue is all over the place, but he is hitting most of his marks. Yay for Stewart.

Oh no...this is going to be rather damning.

Oscars-- The Actual Opening

2006-03-05T20:03:00.000-05:00

8:07 Opening montage...not too shabby, but could have done without John Williams's rousing score. Is this a ride at Universal Studios?

Aha! First Jack Nicholson sighting!

I thought the intro was pretty funny. Except the madness that was Mel Gibson.

Jon Stewart loves ragging on his Death to Smoochy credit...and the "voting for winners" line is rather good.

Oscars--Stewart's Monologue

2006-03-05T19:57:00.000-05:00

8:00 As an aside, Billy Bush may not be the stupidest Bush, but he is tonight.

I'm putting an over/under on a Steve Carrell appearance within 9 minutes.

Brian's a punk and changed the line from 5 to 9. A little fishy, if you ask me. I'll still take the over, but I'll be disappointed if he doesn't show up.

That opening montage was kinda cool...but a little underwhelming. Maybe its just because our TV screen is too small. I'm throwing this out there so when jared makes the joke, its derivative.

Live-blogging the Oscars!!!

2006-03-05T19:52:00.000-05:00

7:54 Hey everybody who isn't reading this, but Jared and I are going to give it a shot anyways.

I'm most looking forward to Jon Stewart tonight. How will the Daily Show shtick translate to the Oscars? Well, its 6 minutes to go. Guess i'll figure it out pretty soon. The ABC pre-show crew is rather pathetic, so at least Stewart will have little competition. Some hard-hitting analysis going on right now with the Access Hollywood crew. Jared? What are you looking forward to?

Heck, I already saw Jessica Alba in her Oscar dress, I'm set. Also, I'm looking forward to crushing Brian and my family in our Oscar pool.

Whatever. We both know that my pick for short animated film is going to win it for me.

For future reference, jared is in italics, because he is "special"

Another one joins the iTunes Bandwagon

2006-02-09T12:18:00.000-05:00

Showtime programs are now available on iTunes. It's pretty cool that not only are cable networks now going the way of subscription services online...but that it is a premium cable network to make the first deal.

Now I can finally see what Weeds is all about without having to subscribe to Showtime...or get TiVo. I hope this works out for them.

But this has bigger implications. Now that ABC and Showtime both have deals with iTunes, isn't it safe to say that wherever Arrested Development ends up, it could be available online? I'm salivating already at the prospect....but would Fox own the rights to Seasons 1-3? probably...sigh.

On that note, check this space for an Arrested fare-thee-well tomorrow.

Thoughts on 24

2006-02-07T18:02:00.000-05:00

I'll try and bit more logical in this post, as my HDTV theory ran into some deserved ridiculing.

But before I write the longer 24 roundup with Mike Zordan, which you can read over at TTO tomorrow, along with all our other roundups, here are a couple of quick rants.

1) John McCain is an absolute sellout and hypocrite. Politically, the guy manages to get shit done. While dealing with political policy, he seems to stand on principle. I applaud him for standing up to our President on issues regarding prisoner torture. I also appreciate his willingness to work with Democrats...you'd think they have cooties or something. BUT...what the hell is with his 24 cameo?!?!

Supposedly, the senator is a big fan of the show and was visiting, and they offered him a walk-on role. Thanks to Mike for placing the cameo at 12:32 ( in show time) during the show.

So here's my beef. I give you a quote from McCain's own website. It is an "op-ed" he wrote with Sen. Joe Lieberman in 1999 [emphasis added]:

..neither the executives nor the lobbyists sent in their place have had any genuine response to the growing chorus of concerns about the harmful influence of the entertainment media's romanticized and sanitized vision of violence, about its part in the toxic mix that is turning too many of our kids into killers.

I disagree that the media portrayal of violence has increased violence among children, but I can respect the opinion of those that do. But not if they go appear on a show that offers a very very unsanitary version of violence. Three characters died on last night's episode of 24: One by suicide, two by guns. One was a coldblooded murder by a terrorist who promised to spare his victim's life only minutes earlier. And that was on the low end of body counts in a 24 episode. You should have seen the season premiere.

How can McCain issue screeds against the violent media, then appear on their shows? Can anyone defend this hypocrisy?

2) Whew...that first one was a long rant. Second point deals with my concerns for the rest of the season. It was revealed in the show that the strike on America is a second resort for Terrorist Ivan. His first goal was to attack "tyrranical" Russia. But now, he's content to just wing it and attack the U.S.? This doesn't strike me as a credible plotline to extend over a season. People who are desperate make mistakes...this isn't a criminal genius here...its a spurned terrorist who's anxious to revenge Walt Cummings' idiocy. There's no anti-U.S. modus operandi...Im just not feeling the Terrorist Ivan plotline.

Short thoughts on the Super Bowl

2006-02-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

So it has been way too long since my last post here, but with a monumental event such as the Super Bowl, there's no better excuse to not post now.

I won't dwell on the commercials too much, since its becoming rather cliche to do so, but I can't avoid talking about them either. My vote for Best Ad goes to the caveman/FedEx...and while it piggybacks off of Geico's success with Neanderthals, it was still really funny. The best exchange: "But FedEx hasn't even been invented yet!/Not my Problem!" The ESPN Cellular ads were rather awesome as well, with a good pace and momentum. Worst: and this one seems to be the conventional wisdom across all pundits..the Jay Mohr/Diet Pepsi bits. Just totally not interesting.

But I guess I'll tackle my least favorite subject: the ratings. As both Anthony Resnick over at TTO and Lisa DeMoraes in today's WaPo have noted, the ratings for Super Bowl XL is up 5% from last year, and the highest since 1996.

I am both surprised and not-at-all surprised by these numbers. Surprised because of the boring matchup and poorly-played game. There was a distinctive lack-of-hype in the two weeks prior to the SuperBowl, so to see it garner such high ratings confuses me. Especially since the past 2 games have been definite nailbiters.

But I am also not-at-all surprised because ratings do not make any sense. Ever. For all the big events, Super Bowl and Oscar, especially...the ratings have been declining for all sorts of reasons. Now all of the sudden, the BIG GAME EVENT is back? WTF?

I'll put forward one possible reason for the uptick in ratings: The Big-Screen HD-TV. Football is more fun to watch in HD...especially with the monster-sized television. With more HDTVs out there...maybe more people are willing to watch.

What are your guesses as to why the ratings are up?

One other note...Grey's Anatomy had the highest ratings for an entertainment show since the series finale of Friends. And ABC barely promoted it...at least in comparison to FOX's ubiquitous promos for "HIS FATHER IS THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!" or "YOU'RE RISKING THE PATIENT'S LIFE!" Watching the SB, you would have thought that Lost was on after the game.

Bizarre.

Two links

2006-01-24T17:38:00.000-05:00

First off, Andy Bowers of Slate has a great idea about putting West Wing on ITunes. I wish I had thought of it first. Although, he does echo what I said last week:

The same model could work for other quality shows that are always teetering "on the bubble"—shows like Arrested
Development and Scrubs (as well as departed critical darlings such as Freaks and Geeks and I'll Fly Away).

Second, here's the first attempt at a Madden/Michaels rundown of last night's 24. Thanks to Mike Zordan for working on it with me.

Bye Bye Bartlet

2006-01-23T17:42:00.000-05:00

Alas, The West Wing has reached the end of its seven year run. It was only a matter of time, but I'm quite sad to see it come this year. After a horrendous and meandering fifth season, West Wing had a nice recovery in its sixth. Once the writers made the (in retrospect) wise decision to skip a "year" and go straight to what they do best, campaign races, West Wing had a strong 2005.

It was hard at times to believe that a character such as Alan Alda's Arnie Vinick could exist, not to mention get the Republican nomination. He was the ideal Republican for any idealistic, leftist West Wing watcher...which is pretty much every West Wing watcher. Jimmy Smits has also been a bit too much of a golden boy without much of a personality.

But this seventh season has been reminiscent of the fantastic first few seasons, the Aaron Sorkin era. John Spencer's last few episodes are brilliant, and last night's show was the best in recent memory. While "Duck and Cover" was a not-so-veiled jab at what our President should be doing in a national emergency, the taut pacing and relentless drama seemed awfully realistic.

In one fell swoop, Tommy Schlamme and John Wells made the election a toss-up. Well-done, sirs. Now let's see how you handle John Spencer's untimely passing.

But back to the cancellation. Lisa DeMoraes, as always, has a great roundup of the announcement. At first I was angry, fuming that NBC would probably replace WW with another spinoff series from Dick Wolf. As Jared will attest, there are way too many procedural dramas on TV today. But then I remembered, 2006 will mark the first season of Sunday Night Football on NBC.

So naturally, West Wing would have had another change to another night at another time slot. Better it die a respectful death, than a slow and ugly one on Friday or Saturday night.

On one last note, if Rob Lowe is coming back to the show, he will (as I predicted) be the replacement candidate as Vice President. Unless he won't be. Then I'd be totally totally wrong.

So many things to blog...

2006-01-22T11:37:00.000-05:00

...way too much delaying actually writing about them. I have a laundry list of items to write about, so hopefully I'll get to them throughout this week . Stay tuned.

But today's post deals with one of my least favorite people, Brent Bozell. I've written about him before, check out my Tufts Daily column on him...it's one of my favorites. No matter how much I disagree with him, and no matter how many times his vitriolic crap angers me, I still read him along with many other right-wing nutcases. Let me say for the record, again, that I agree with Bozell on one issue, and only one issue: a la carte cable options. I dont want Bozell and his Parents Television Council army crashing my love for trashy TV, but if they can opt out on paying for trashy channels, all the more power to them.

Anyways, straight to the Bozo Column: Old Europe's Golden Globes

Where is this "enormous" influence the Golden Globes has over a) our culture and b) the Oscars? Does Mr. Bozell have any facts to back this up? No, of course not. In fact, I think very very few people care who wins the Golden Globes. This gives me an opportunity to rant against the awards show whose only reason for gaining any attention is that all of Hollywood gets plastered on stage. But I'd like to see any evidence where the Golden Globes matter ...other than fashion/gossip rags and the entertainment world.

Like his Townhall.com counterpart, Bert Prelutsky (cue Nutsky pun here), Bozell admits to not seeing Capote, or Brokeback, or TransAmerica:

People who've actually seen these movies are a better judge of whether these actors deserved the acting honors. I am told that Hoffman was superb.

Yes, Phillip Seymour Hoffman was quite spectacular in embodying Truman Capote. The film was otherwise a bit slow, and I thought Catherine Keener put forth a better performance, but Hoffman was great. So what is wrong with recognizing a great performance?

Apparently because none of them are "box-office-booming" successes. Who would Bozell have nominated for an ACTING category from War of the Worlds or Star Wars? The films were entertaining and all, but an acting award for Hayden Christensen pouting like a three-year old...or Dakota Fanning for screaming throught a two-hour movie? The only person I could possibly see getting nominated for anything among the movies he mentioned is Naomi Watts...but they could have shown a loop of her blue eyes staring in awe with her jaw agape and no one would have noticed.

His closing paragraph reiterates his opening, but he makes even less sense.

Let's hope that when our children look back on the classic movies and TV of their youth, they won't be influenced by which ones won the Golden Globes. I'm already eager to forget who just won.

Again, are our children influenced TODAY by who won the Golden Globes? I follow the awards seasons, and look forward to seeing films that are recognized as the best of the year, and I've ALREADY forgotten who has won many of the Golden Globes from last week. I have no idea who won anything from last year.

This is all a part of the ridiculous culture wars...which, as E.J. Dionne pointed out in this month's Atlantic, is a war between those who think one exists, and those who think it is a ludicrous way of avoiding the real problems of our world. The Golden Globes are not corrupting our children...instead look to those closeminded idealogues with no handle on reality.

I'm looking towards you, Bozo.

Somewhere, Paul Tagliabue is Crying

2006-01-16T18:58:00.000-05:00

In my earlier rambling post, which included a couple thoughts on the Oscars, I said how it didnt matter who hosted the Oscars, but that the ratings would surely drop. The same is true about the Super Bowl. With so many options for home viewers, including the recent trend of strong counter-programming by other networks and cable, the Super Bowl ratings have been stagnating as of late. Last year's Pats-Eagles game reached an estimated 86.1 million people, the '03 game found 89.8 million. According to the AP, the ratings of the Super Bowl reached its apex in 1996 with Dallas vs. Pittsburgh (94 million). I hate the post-game ratings story, because it rarely means anything. That being said, Tags has to be quite upset over what transpired this past weekend.

Seattle...Carolina....Pittsburgh...and Denver. Four teams that no one outside of their geographic reasons, all realtively small metropolitan areas. Found this site listing population via metro area as of 2004, since the Census page is unnavigable, Seattle/Tacoma is the 13th biggest metro area by population; Denver is 19th; Pittsburgh is the 21st; Charlotte, NC is the 24th. None of them even crack the top 10. Had Indianapolis won, they would have been the smallest market at 27th...but no self-respecting sports fan would miss Indy in the Super Bowl. Tags lost out on Boston, Chicago, and Washington--3 top 10 markets and 2 top 5's.

On top of that, what are the compelling matchups? Seattle has no one who brings a great story to the big game. Maybe its Hasselbeck's longtime struggle with baldness...or Holmgren's issue with looking like a walrus. Carolina has a potential to bring actual talent to the table, and Steve Smith deserves a chance to prove the MVP voting is a joke. Denver has their Johnny Damon character with Jake Plummer's beard...but not much else other than Mike Shanahan's inability to win without Elway.

I see Pittsburgh as the best chance for an underdog story. The Bus? Last game before walking off into the sunset? Doesn't get much better than that. And Bill Cowher is a hoot to watch in big games...whether he's winning or losing. Pitt has the most history of any of the Final Four...another plus.

Everyone, from ABC Sports to Tags to everyone outside of Denver, should be rooting for the Steelers for the AFC Crown...it'll make for a better Super Bowl. And with the NFC?

Whatever.

Nerds or Hunks on the Tube

2006-01-10T17:54:00.000-05:00

Wow...two days in a row, let's keep this going!

In last Friday's Wall Street Journal, Brooks Barnes wrote an article titled "I Wany My Nerd TV" about the supposed trend of networks hyping unhunky characters as the stars of new offerings. I call bull. It's close to what Jack Shafer of Slate would call a phony "trend" story.

Barnes explains how the main characters of "Four Kings," "What About Brian," and "Love Monkey" all feature dorky guys as the romantic leads. All are ostensibly light-hearted comedies. But Barnes makes this out to be something new. He refers to nameless "entertainment executives" who say that the popularity of reality TV has made viewers uninterested in "slick, unrealistic characters."
Who they are referring to is unclear...something along the lines of the Studly Dudely who doesn't really exist on TV comedies.
These same execs are also "hungry to court the legions of awkward, videogame-playing young men who advertisers covet." Barnes does quote a Starcom Entertainment exec...so that's one thing going for the article. But as far as I know, dorky video gamers want to see Jessica Alba in "Dark Angel," not Seth hooking up with Summer on "The O.C."

If this article were about dorky guys emerging on soaps like "The O.C.", that would make sense. But it's not. It's mostly about the supposedly new trend of dorks in comedies. This is the part I have the biggest problem with. Barnes mentions Gilligan, Urkel, and Doogie...but what about the entire cast of "Seinfeld"...Woody on "Cheers"...Archie Bunker and Meathead?

The successful comedies have always been about the normal guy succeeding. "Sex and the City" is the aberration in this trend, and thats because women are crazy. Even "Friends" had Joey, a supposed beefcake, but he was surrounded by Chandler and Ross, two dorks-- who had the lasting romantic relationships that Joey never attained.

Look at "Cheers," Ted Danson's bartender was a bigheaded jerk..and was frequently held up just to be beaten down for comedic effect. On "M.A.S.H," the cast was a group of wisecracking doctors...none of whom were hunks. "Frasier" had the two main characters fighting over wine and classical music.

The MacGuyvers and Magnums and assorted action heroes were all in the realm of one-hour dramas. It's been a very rare occurence where the hunk was the central character of a successful comedy...maybe Desi Arnaz is the only instance that currently comes to mind.

Losers are funny. See: Homer, Archie, Ralph Kramden, Peter Griffin...the list goes on. This is nothing new.

More on Stewart

2006-01-09T18:31:00.000-05:00

The posting continues...

Jared asked me for further thoughts on Golden Boy hosting the Oscars. As my nickname for him suggests, he can do little to no wrong, in my book. Daily Show is absolutely brilliant, and much of that has to do with Stewart and his clan of writers. The recent bit "Coot Off" between Robert Byrd and Ted Stevens was as good a segment on the show as I had seen since the 2004 election. I highly recommend watching it on comedycentral.com/dailyshow

Anyways, if Stewart brings his writing staff with him, and I imagine Gil Cates will encourage that, then we all have much to look forward to. With the politicized nature of many of the Oscar-worthy flicks (gay cowboys, big oil, terrorism, globalism, africa...need i go on?), Stewart has so much material to mine. All that being said, I will be watching with baited breath, for a number of reasons.

1) Stewart is not a physical comedian. He works sitting in front of a desk, and never really walks around. During the monologue, which will likely make or break the night (for the vibe in the theater and for itchy remote triggers at home), how will Stewart translate his shtick to walking around a stage? Also, much of the show's humor lies in airing congressional/media gaffes and absurdities...then making a joke about it. Maybe his monologue will do that with celebrities, and it could succeed, but that brings me to ...

2) Stewart sucks with celebrities. I know many people, myself included, who shut off the tube when the guest on Daily Show is a celebrity publicizing his/her new movie. It's usually just not funny or interesting. Probably because Jon Stewart just doesnt give a damn about it. Honestly, if you spent your day analyzing senate idiosyncrasies, would you even feign interest in Pierce Brosnan in The Matador? How will Stewart deal in a room full of ego-driven celebrities...as opposed to liberal college-age students?

3) His routine isn't Hollywood-centric. Like I've said numerous times in this post, Stewart just doesnt do Hollywood. This isnt Jay Leno or Conan or Letterman--making Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan cracks. Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal are all insiders who have been around the Beverly Hills scene for years. Jon Stewart was in a couple of flops and would fit better in DC than LA. I just dont know how well he'll jive at the Oscars.

Those are my concerns. I pray he'll be funny. But even if he isnt, he has a cozy home at the Daily Show with a devoted audience that won't really care either way.

Good start to the new year

2006-01-05T11:27:00.000-05:00

New Year's Resolution #1: Start posting more on this blog.

From a TV standpoint, thank god for the end of December. No more reruns, no more War on Christmas demagoguery from Bill O'Reilly, and no more bad Christmas movies. Although this does mean I'll have to wait 11 months before being able to hear "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"

This January marks a great beginning for TV enthusiasts. "24" begins in a week or so, the best episodes of "American Idol" are set to air as well. I stop watching after the first round, but schadenfreude is ripe for the taking with the William Hungs of the world. I do feel a bit cheated when I know that the crap singers are only put through to the Simon and Company just so they can be embarassed. It still makes for great entertainment anyways. Other great parts about January: The Office comes back tonight; West Wing returns Sunday; midseason replacements to ignore; Daily Show returned last night with its usual great satire, social commentary, and interesting guests; NFL playoffs on HD televisions; College basketball begins interconference play...MD-Duke is less than a week away.

And lastly, great news out of Hollywood. Via Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch Blog, I have good news on the Oscars front. Jon Stewart, golden boy, is set to host the show in a couple of months. Of course he'll be liberal and anti-Bush, and with the crop of films including themes on terrorism, gays, and racism--he will have plenty of ammunition. I dont know how it will affect ratings, but I dont really care about ratings...because I know already they will be lower than last year. As they are every year. If the Oscars want younger viewers, they've picked a good horse..and although Conan would have done well too, I pray that Stewart will be a great addition.

My first rant: The Office

2005-12-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to actually start posting on this blog...six months after its inception. About friggin time.

With the big publicity push for "The Office" after the success of 40-Year-Old Virgin, I became hooked on the show. Steve Carrell plays the oblivious and evil boss so well...and Rainn Wilson is equally hilarious as the sycophantic Dwight. For me, the appeal is that the show seems so realistic and the characters are quite empathetic (and pathetic, as you would have it.) It's almost as painful as "Curb," but brings in enough slapstick and wry humor of "Arrested" that it totally works.

Now, for my rant. About a year ago, I wrote a column for the Daily on the product placement/deceptive advertising of reality television. I essentially said, "no harm, no foul" in that anyone who doesn't realize that when Trump pushes a certain product on "The Apprentice," it's obviously a paid advertisement. Additionally, it furthers the scheme of the show...I didn't really see a problem with it all. I mean, there was the Geritol Comedy Hour back in the 50s, along with products being advertised during shows and even being in the titles of shows. Nothing new. You even had actors/hosts pushing products (even tobacco, gasp!) during commercial breaks with as little differentiation between ads and content as FoxNews has between analysis and straight news.

Which brings me to my point. On Tuesday, when NBCUniversal announced its new initiative with iTunes to offer certain NBC shows ("Law and Order", The Office, among others (including Hitchcock's series!!)) for sale through iTunes. I was, and continue to be, pumped about this. It's the future of television, and now I can buy the first season of the show and watch it on my computer at a relatively cheap price. This is sweet. I was out Tuesday night so I taped the Office episode that aired then.

I watched it last night. Thanks to the snarky writing of many TV writers, especially Lisa DeMoraes, I have become exceptionally cynical about television. This isn't neccessarily a ba thing, but it could ruin a good thing as it did last night.

In this episode, the focus was on the company's holiday party. Steve Carrell, as the egomaniacal boss, decided that he was going to "outdo" everyone when it came to the Secret Santa moment by buying his "secret santa" an APPLE VIDEO IPOD!!!! This fit perfectly into the show's character, as then, when Carrell got a homemade oven mitt as his gift, he threw a fit and decided to make the gift giving a "yankee swap" or "white elephant" arrangement. Ergo, everyone took the iPod in lieu of the gift they had in front of them. It made fun of Carrell, per usual, and showed the mean-spirited nature of "yankee swap" and general office gift giving. Very accurate, per usual.

But this frightens me. I have to assume that the reason Carrell gave a Video iPod was because of this cross-promotion deal with Apple. I really really really hope that the writers of "The Office" scripted and filmed this episode long before NBC and Apple came to their agreement. Then NBC decided that this episode would be a good time to make the announcement. I pray that it didn't go the other way.

Yet precedent dictates that it probably went the other way. NBC has been a flagrant user of product placement, with both versions of the Apprentice. Even their news division was corrupted when Dateline aired two-hour specials as a send-off to "Friends." Also, the video iPod was given such great press throughout the show (everyone picking that gift as the hotly desired item)...and it's during the holiday shopping season, that it would be silly to not assume the worst.

I hate being so cynical, I really do. Tuesday night's "The Office" episode was quite good, but it left a bad taste in my mouth like I had been used. Please tell me I'm wrong.

Welcome to Wolly and the Teev

2005-06-23T00:10:00.000-04:00

Go to Tuftsdaily.com to read my previous ramblings.