First Thoughts: Life

My enthusiasm for Life is only tempered by the fact that I know that the show will fail and be cancelled within a month. With minimal PR, at least in comparison to Chuck and Bionic Woman, I imagine that not even NBC has high hopes for Life. Which is surprising, since it's better than Chuck and anything else new I've seen so far this week.

I've been a big fan of Damian Lewis since I first watched Band of Brothers. Capt./Lieut. Dick Winters was the glue of the series, keenly touching on the themes of virtue and duty while not being stuffy or jingoistic. His scenes with Ron Livingston as the comic foil were some of the best non-action moments of the program.

So I was of course more than excited to see him pop up as the lead actor of Life, and he exceeded my expectations. Part Rain Man, part Monk... Lewis' Det. Charlie Crews is peculiar, partial to Zen-like nonsensical sayings, yet interesting. The story behind his odd behaviors is the 12 years he spent in prison, getting beaten up (prison-style) as a former cop convicted of murder. The pilot played off of his past quite well...and his ignorance over modern technology wasn't gimmicky...it was actually rather amusing.

I didn't know from the previews that Life would be more of a procedural drama, which brings it down a notch for me, since procedurals are usually television's version of Mad Libs. I'll be curious to see how they balance the "find out who framed me" plotline with the weekly crime scene procedural stuff. If they strike a strong middle ground, Life is definitely a keeper for me.

And my only other criticism is the lazy "documentary" interviews that were inserted into the pilot. It's a lazy way to present exposition, and it rarely works as a plot device. Look at Entourage's "Behind the Scenes of Medellin" episode as another example of a flawed mockumentary.

Show us actual scenes with Crew's former partner or his attorney...they do a much better job of developing character and backstory than a silly head-on interview can do.

Also...is Adam Arkin really this desperate? I mean, he was great in his role and all, I'd just think that he could get some meatier roles with his resume. And the MILF neighbor from FNL plays the lawyer...does this mean we won't have to endure the annoying cuteness of Bo Miller, the brat next door? Cause that would make me even MORE pumped for next week.

First Thoughts: Cane

Ah. First day of school...Opening Day...Midnight Madness...and the first disappointment of the fall TV season.

I shouldn't be all that surprised, after all, that Cane was boring and unimpressive. It's a soap opera trying to be like the Sopranos, but its on network TV, so it will be lobotomized and watered down. I should have called it, but I was blinded by the residual good feelings of Jimmy Smits as Rep. Matt Santos from the West Wing.

Actually, that was part of the problem with Cane. If you're going to have a drama about a family in a cutthroat business, then you better have some characters who are cutthroat. Hector Elizando needed to wake out of his Princess Diaries stupor and grow some business sense...or at least seem like someone who would be a hardass to worth with. The only character with any sense of ferocity is the "villain"...who is so one-dimensional that he's laughable.

Milquetoast is probably the one word I'd use to describe Cane. The flashbacks, filmed in sepia tones, even, were so poorly done that I thought I'd switched channels to Lifetime. The preview for the rest of the season made Cane look even worse...why they are fixating on the murder of Quinones, the man who killed Elizondo's daughter decades earlier, is bizarre.

While some people criticized The Sopranos for rarely having corpses come back to haunt the mob family, I appreciated that you never quite knew what would happen next, and that the Mafia operated on a different level of legality than everyone else.

If the Vega/Duque family are even worth caring about, then they need to be powerful enough to be above the law. Otherwise, they're as boring as watching molasses move. I'm done with this one.

First Thoughts: Reaper

So remember how I wrote yesterday that Chuck had the problem of being derivative and seemingly unoriginal? That was nothing compared to Reaper, which is pretty much exactly what you would expect if a lower-budget network like the CW tried to rip-off Chuck. The similarities between the shows are depressing and make Reaper just look lame in comparison.

Unfulfilled potential in main lead actor? Check (or should it be Chuck?) Wise-cracking sidekick? Check. Unattainable female lead? Check. Mockery of Big-Box stores? Check. Lead actor has unexplained mental powers? Check. Sigh.

I wouldn't have even considered watching the show had Ian (yay!) not auspiciously mentioned how excited he was for its premiere and that it was "one of the best reviewed new shows" of the season. And, its not as if this were Kid Nation and I wish had my hour back, but I'm mostly shrugging off Reaper as a failed attempt at a bizarre premise for a show.

The lead actor, Bret Harrison, does his best to make Sam unexceptional and uninteresting...and it strains incredulity that he would be uncomfortable around his hot female co-worker (who could have been Hillary Swank had she been attractive). Yes, it's odd that in a series about a 21-year-old (and Sam looks like he's 25 years old, because he IS) whose soul is sold to the devil, the part that makes me pause the most is the unspoken love between two of the lead characters.

Missy Peregym, the shapeshifter from last year's season of Heroes, is a fine actress...I just have a hard time believing that she'd be single and mopey. Hot people can't be sad...at least, thats what I like to tell myself.

The saddest part about Reaper is the missed opportunity with Ray Wise as Applegate, Beezlebub, The Devil. As the best part of 24's Season Five, Wise's presence was underused in the pilot, and I hope for his sake that he gets a bigger role in later episodes. The best role in Damn Yankees is Applegate...Good Ol' Days is a ham-handed showstopper, but the character is rife with opportunities to chew the scenery. Why not let Wise take over the spotlight wasted on Bret Harrison?

Lastly, the special effects were awful. This was one of the many things that confused me about Buffy's popularity...where the special effects struck me as second-rate. The scene with the arsonist was laughable in its melodrama, especially when you compare it to the effects from Heroes or Chuck.

What were your thoughts on the zamboni thing? I was cracking up at the audacity of it....but seemed out of sync with the tone of the rest of the show. If they're going dark comedy, with Wise as the star, then there's still hope.

First Thoughts: Big Bang Theory

Dorks are all the rage this season, or at least, on Mondays around 8:30 pm. Enter this scripted...er...comedic...er...sit-com version of "Beauty and the Geek" starring the second best part of "8 Simple Rules", Kaley Cuoco, and a few other guys including the Nicholas Cage impersonator from Studio 60. So, he's gotten a promotion.

Speaking of Studio 60 remembrances, the nameless, speechless Asian character from that show ended up on Chuck as a member of the Nerd Herd. And she actually spoke! Another promotion!

I believe it has been Ian who has said that pilots are often a poor way to judge a TV show, which is kind of like judging a restaurant during its first two weeks. I say that because there was a lot of repetition in the types of jokes told, as if the writers needed to browbeat the premise into our brains. I'll give the show another episode or two, mostly because of Jim Parsons.

He has great comedic timing and fits his character perfectly, reminding me of David Hyde Pierce's scene-stealing performances as Niles Crane on Frasier. Sadly, Johnny Galecki as Parson's roommate, is not very good and does little to build up the empathy I'll need to feel sorry for him when Kaley finds ways to reject him frequently, yet gracefully.

For tips...he should check out Chuck. Dork power.

First Thoughts: Chuck

So I'm a day late with my first post of premiere week, but it took a tad long to help a friend move, so forgive me.

We start things off with Chuck, which in spite of a full-speed ahead ad campaign that aimed to make a smart show look as stupid as possible (think the opposite of Studio 60), was actually very very good. It's my early favorite for the best new show of the season.

Even though lead-man Zachary Levi (Jew!) borrows too many of his mannerisms from John Krasinski of The Office (good) and Jimmy Fallon (unspeakable), he really pulls off the endearing and charming qualities of Chuck, which in a few words describes the show overall: endearing and charming.

The only problem I have so far is that everything seems derivative or it reminds me of someone else. Chuck's character takes the idealism (and occupation) of Steve Carrell from 40-Year-Old Virgin and the unfulfilled potential and sense of humor of Jim from The Office. His goofy sidekick is the pathetic (in a good way) lovechild of Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy. The CIA love interest is your typical blonde bombshell (see: Christine Taylor or Paula Kruger).

As for last night's ep, it set up the premise of the show rather well while still leaving many loopholes in logic...that will hopefully be explained in upcoming shows. Why Bryce picked Chuck of all people to send the CIA's secrets to is perhaps the biggest question out there. I do like the comic potential of having the NSA guy working at NotBestBuy, so consider me excited for the next episode of Chuck.

Score one for NBC's Monday night.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part III

Finally, we're done with all the movie and miniseries awards. Seacrest is STILL awful.

10:04 Masi Oka is great...and he's talking about computers. OOOH, dorks on their computers, or should I say....Macs. Masi better watch out...Al Gore is ocming on stage, and he WANTS TO EAT YOU. My God gore is fat....and green. He gets a standing O, way to live up to your stereotypes of being hippies.

Ah, Al Gore. Proof that there is something more boring than hearing the President of the Academy speak.

10:07 It's the cast of Til Death making a bad sex joke...followed by a great cleavage joke. Followed by a really mean joke, followed by a great Charlie Sheen joke. Talk about an uneven performance. They keep going, a bad craigslist joke, and a good Sen. Craig joke.

Despite the horribleness that is Everybody Loves Raymond, I'm prepared to believe that Brad Garrett is actually funny.

They're up their to give the award for best performance in a comedy/variety show: Tony Bennett, of course. This is terrible... my only consolation is that Colbert will be funnier because of it.

I had to root for Tony Bennett, who then came on and mumbled something about Target. One of the few downsides of gambling, I suppose.

10:11 So Anthony Anderson and Teri Hatcher are at the Emmy stage...and its not too bad. They bring on the guest stars for comedy series; Stan "Mike Wolly look-alike" Tucci and Elaine Strich. Hahaha, she can't read the teleprompter, and it's the best moment so far on the show.

Elaine Streitch (or whoever she is) is my hero.

They're giving the award for Directing, comedy series: Richard Shepard, Ugly Betty.. Hrm. Looks like Jared's pulling away with this competition.

10:16 Teri Hatcher and Anthony Anderson are back for writing in a comedy: Greg Daniels, The Office, "Gay Witch Hunt". I'm really happy for them, but I need to start winning some points if I want to beat Jared.

Yay Office. Well done, Emmys. This time.

10:25 Wayne Brady is fantastic. He should host the Emmys next year. He "randomly announces" two audience members to compete to present the reality award, and its....Rainn Wilson and....Kanye West. This is great shtick...how did the same room of people who wrote this also wrote Seacrest's crap.

I really have to hand it to the Emmys, the comic interludes have actually been funny.

Rainn presents with Kanye for best reality show: Amazing Race. No shock there, but I think they should have to lose their previous awards for the Family version.

Yeah, really, it had to be Amazing Race. All of us but Scholle were being silly. Good job, Scholle.

10:35 Stewart and Colbert come up to present an award...Colbert has a leafblower, to mock the "green" Emmy's. "If entertainers stop publicly congratulating themselves, then the Earth wins." Well played, Colbert.

They're announcing best actor in a comedy: Ricky Gervais. Thats a shocker, but Steve Carrelll comes on anyway to accept the award.

I didn't realize America cared about Extras. Weird.

10:40 Hold on, there's no lifetime achievement award and no "look who died" montage? Sad. Hugh Laurie and Felicity Huffman give the award for Best Actress to Sally Field. They like her, they really like her.

Wow. Sally Field, never woulda guessed that. Sorry, Edie. I would have sworn the Sopranos lovin' would have spilled over. By the way, I'm not sure I could guess how old Sally Field is if you gave me a ten year cushion either way.

Fox is afraid of the PTC....dammit, they cut off Sally Field because of she said "goddamn." I'd really like to believe its not because she criticized the war.

10:44 I spoke too soon. MONTAGE OF DEAD PEOPLE...I love this stuff.

Yankees up 4-1 in the 8th and Patriots up 31-14 in the third.

It is really creepy that Brian loves the dead person montage. Right? That's not just me.

10:52 Debra Messing and the Shat present the word for Actress, Comedy: America Ferrera, Ugly Betty. No shocker there.I can't figure out if she's cute or not. But good for her...I dont really know if she's any better than the other nominees since I dont watch any of the show's nominated.

I feel like after all these awards, I have to Netflix Ugly Betty. Which will make the inevitable disappointment hurt so much worse.

10:55 And the James Gandolfini award goes to....James Gandolfini. As read by...WHAA????? JAMES SPADER??? YOu can't blame these Emmy's for being predictable. Absurd.

There's a new series called "Private Practice and Cane"? Sounds pretty good!

I would have lost a rather large amount of money if I could have bet on Gandolfini winning. Man. That's shocking.

11:02 Jared: Well, it all comes down to this.

I dont know why Jared thought 2.5 Men would win, cause it clearly won't. 30 Rock, that's pretty surprising, again. Tina Fey isn't very funny, and I dont think I can ever be convinced otherwise. Ian's pleased, I know, but...The Office is better! COME ON!

John will be happy, even if it means we tie. I've made promises to watch this show, so I'll reserve comment.

11:08 Queen Elizabeth dishes out the award for Outstanding Drama Series...which I would have thought was a shoo-in for The Sopranos, but after Gandolfini-gate, who knows. The Sopranos. Hear, hear! The last season was really really good, so nicely done Emmy Committee.

Jared: Well, I'm glad the Sopranos won Best Drama. Glad to see the Emmys have a little class in them.

I'm forgoing writing about the acceptance speech, cause we have to drive back to the district tonight, and I'm tired.

This has been fun. See you at the Golden Globes.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part II

9:04 Jared starts off Hour 2 in an...interesting manner.

I feel like the Vanessa Hudgens scandal will be giving Brian wet dreams for the next month. Good thing there is a rather thick wall between our rooms.

To class things up a bit, Queen Latifah gives a tribute to Roots on its 30th Anniversary. Actually, I think that the reason they dont push the miniseries out of the main event is because of Roots' legacy. A number of cast members from the show stand on stage and recieve a standing O...for being actors. This is a bit over the top. Cicely Tyson could read a medical dictionary and it could sound dramatic. LeVar Burton could take a look, its in a book, its Reading Rainbow.

The cast of Roots are badasses. I wouldn't mess with a single one Especially Cicely Tyson.

They announce the award for best mini-series: Broken Trail. Good thing they won...because the cast of Roots giving an award to The Starter Wife would have just been awkward.

Duvall is rambling about Chinese girls? What the hell is going on? Play the exit music. Now!

9:10 Hayden Pantierre and NPH announce nominees for best guest actor and actress, but im confused. So now the winner for best guest actress announces the award for directing a dramatic series: Alan Taylor, Sopranos. This was for the episode where Christopher is killed, and it was a phenomenal episode. Even better, he gives a shout out to Steve Buscemi for "Pine Barrens" which was also brilliant.

Jared: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!
Really, the whole category should just have been FNL and Studio 60 episodes. The Sopranos director looks like Kenny Mayne. FNL should have been nominated at least two episodes here. Just saying.

9:14 Now, the award for writing, dramatic series: David Chase, Sopranos. Maybe now he'll explain what the finale meant!!! Nope.

9:20 Steve Carell comes out...sadly this is the only time we'll see him since I dont think he'll win. Bah. But Jenna Fischer gets to shine for her comedic timing!! He presents the award for best Variety/Comedy show: Daily Show. Of course I'm happy, but once again I got it wrong.

Stewart's magnanimous in victory...I can't wait for Colbert to be vicious in defeat.

He also gives out the award for best variety show, which wasn't on the list Jared provided to us. I blame him for Tony Bennett winning.

The Office bit was really funny. I'm impressed with these little one-offs. They keep the show moving, I think.

Yankees tie it up. Tony Bennett wins another award. The world loses.

9:28 Is it off if Marcia Cross frightens me? She looks like a robot. But she and Marc Harmon give out the award for best supp. actress in miniseries/movie: Judy Davis. Smoooth, Marcia Cross.

Marcia Cross cleavage? Like the sun, don't stare directly at it. You'll hate yourself afterward. Judy Davis didn't show up because she knew Toni Collette should have won that sucker.

ZZZZZZZZZ, the head of the television academy talks. Ugh.

9:36 Mary Louise Parker is such a babe....and a strong role model for female actors. How soon I forget.

It is kind of funny that Glenn Close is happy that cable is developing shows for strong women because, you know, Glenn Close is a man.

They're here to give the award for best movie: Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Hooks falls far behind, and I'm still two behind Jared. I came close to watching this, but I didnt get over to Shuppy's to watch it.

9:38 Fat Tony puts on a Jersey accent to introduce the Jersey Boys honorific for the Sopranos. I'm guessing that their presence is somehow connected to media conglomeration. Just a guess. I'm skeptical as to how good this will be....well, as long as its just them singing, and no actual clips from the show. This is just an ad for the Broadway show.

I love Frankie Valli and the Sopranos should get a send off and all, but really, this is a bit of stretch, don't you think?

Yes, I do. That was dreadful.

9:44 Cast of the Sopranos makes an appearance...and this is a nice trip down memory lane, although the minor characters (Charmayne, for instance) mugging for the camera is a bit much. And....commercial.

9:49 Sally Field and Patrick Dempsey announce the awards for actress in a Miniseries/Movie: Helen Mirren. Dammit, Scholle. She's not even playing a queen, for chrissakes. But yay PBS!! I dont think anyone actually saw this movie, they just like Helen Mirren.

Friggin' Helen Mirren. She can't be stopped. It would be funny if she celebrated like...say...Chad Johnson. That would be good.

For those keeping track, the Pats are up 24-0 at half, and the Red Sox and Yanks are knotted at 1, with only five hits combined in the bottom of the sixth.

9:52 Ah, Lewis Black. Silver Spring native and brilliant asshole, he cracks me up. His delivery is usually better than his actually joke, but you can say that for most comedians. Because if they have a bad delivery....they write for the Daily Show.

Lewis Black is funny, but I think he needs some help coming up with valid points around which to base his diatribes.

9:56 Some non-descript guy and and a chick whose name I dont remember give out the award for Directing, Movie/Miniseries: Phillip Martin, Prime Suspect. How British.

Masterpiece Theater is still on the air? Who knew.

Same couple gives out the award for Writing, movie/miniseries: Frank Deasy, Prime Suspect

You know miniseries are cool and all, but it seems a bit off to me that they get so much time during this show, when you think about how many TV hours are spent on regular programming.

Emmy Live Blog!! Part I

8:01 -- So Stewie and Brian from Family Guy are kicking it off with a musical rendition of mocking TV....and isnt this about 3 years too late? Family Guy is a bit...old by this point, right? On the other hand, it probably has the most respect for old-tyme television out of any show on TV.

(for the record, its Jared in italics, and Hooks will be chiming in as well. Regular text is Brian)

I thought the family guy opening was a little weak, good idea, but it came off a little too clean.

8:03 -- Way to be self-congratulating. Its never a good time when you start off your own series of applause for Johnny Carson.

8:06 -- THis set is absurd. Are they on the set of Deal or No Deal or American Idol? Great they're trying new things at all...but what happened to the glamour of red velvet aisles and chandeliers?

Ryan Seacrest does OK in his monologue. Hooks and Jared are working on the picks for the Emmys, so I'm going solo for the moment.

Seacrest delivers a solid if unspectacular opening, showing he's clearly intent on making this his life's work for the next three decades or so.

8:10 Since Seacrest isnt a comedian or a singer, they bring on one of the former to do a monologue of sorts. Ray Romano...kind of funny in the Parents Television Council kind of way. But really, with over two dozen awards to give out, dont they need to start moving on with this show. Romano makes a very basic sex joke...ha ha.

8:12 First award for Supp. Actor in a Comedy: Jeremy Piven. Well deserved, because he's the only funny part of Entourage any more. Everyone else is just reading the lines. I knew I shouldnt have picked Rainn Wilson of the Office.

I open out in front, where i'll remain for the rest of the evening (Ed note: Hooks got it right too)

8:14 Supp. Actor in a Drama: Terry O'Quinn WTF? Really? I dont think anyone saw this one coming. We all went for Masi Oka. I kind of wish that Terry said "Yatta!" right now.

terry's win was just to make up for his long-overlooked appearance on matlock (hint: he did it!)

8:22 3 years ago, do you predict tina fey and julia louis-dreyfus are here in plunging necklines, presenting an award and nominating? who could have called that?

Seacrest is about as inoffensive as possible. See him next year. Supp. Actress Comedy: Jamie Pressly. Not only did Pam NOT win, but I also didnt pick Jamie Pressly. Dammit. Jenna Fischer is GOLD, baby. GOLD! And I bet that if Tori were watching, she'd be heartbroken that her girlfriend Holland Taylor didnt win. Sorry, T-Ball.

Obviously I'd rather either my pick or Jenna Fischer win this, but jamie pressly isn't a bad pick here, i don't think

8:26 KYLE CHANDLER!!!!!! W0000000T!!!!

He and Katherine Heigl (pronounced HIGH-GUL, as she told the disembodied female voice) present Supp. Actor in Miniseries/Movie: Thomas Haden Church. Yay. Would anyone care if the miniseries/movies were booted to the Creative Awards?

8:33 They're really passing around the "hosting" duties, with Ellen feigning being stupid and now she's rambling. IT'S A MONTAGE!!!! YAY! Its a comedic, bush-bashing, tom-snyder-loving MONTAGE from the late-night hosts. And now Entourage.

i was going to rail against the montage, but slipping in the tom snyder tribute? that's classy

8:38 The cast of Entourage and Eva Longoria (just deal with it) present Supp. Actress Comedy: Katherine Heigl. Wow...good for her, and I am continuing to suck at this pick-em thing. She was great in Knocked Up, thats all I have to say about that.

Brian apparently is giving us all a head start on the picks. Or he is really bad at this. You be the judge. Or Judge Mathis. Either way.

My problem is that I gave the dumbasses at EW too much credit.

8:43 These intros of the comedy writing teams is fantastic....they should give an award just for that. Goes to Conan O'Brien and his team. Kind of surprised it didn't go to the Comedy Central teams, but they'll get their due.

The variety writing bits were really good. I approve.
Conan? Boo.

Jared doesn't like Conan? How could he be so wrong?

8:50 Brian used EW as a resouce in picking Emmys? That's sad. Really, that's sad. Also, for a sports update, Pats are up 7-0 halfway through the first quarter, and Boston is up 1-0 in the bottom of the second.

8:51 Seacrest makes a Kid Nation joke...ha! Now its a musical routine from Tony Bennet and XTina.

Things I want to see less than a Christina Aguilera/Tony Bennett duet right now? The Pats winning and a Red Sox-Yankees game. That's probably about it.

8:53 A drunk Alec Baldwin announces the award for directing a variety show: Tony Bennett. Good for Tony Bennett, or his diretor at least. This was much better than show #12601 of the Daily Show.

Yeah, I mean, Rob Marshall, Tony Bennett, it had to be. Why does a Tony Bennett TV show win so many awards? Are the voters all over 60 years old or Claudia?

8:56 Jack Bauer and Ali "Varsity Blues" Larter announce the Actor in a Miniseries: Robert Duvall. I thought he might not win, but then I realized that Duvall will act in anything for money.

I'm a little sad that William H. Macy or Tom Selleck didn't win. But really, it almost isn't fair when a respected movie actor does a spot on a TV show.

Emmy Live Blog!!

Welcome to yet another liveblog...this time, we make fun of the Emmy's and how they are totally the ugly step-sister of the Oscars. And that's pretty ugly. Even uglier than Betty, which I'm predicting will have a big night.

Keep tuned.