The Return of the Teev: CBS Upfronts

The Teev is back. I've been missing the television writing for a while, so why not jump in with the upfronts happening this week. I'll be trying to update the blog at least 3-4 times a week from now on.

Yesterday, I caught up on the NBC/ABC schedules for next season and discovered a thoroughly enjoyable game. Look at the promotion photo, ignore the show's title, guess the premise of the show. Unsurprisingly, the success rate is rather high. So now, for you, my guesses for the new CBS lineup. Because CBS is the most successful network, however, they are only premiering 6 new shows, as opposed to NBC's 8 and ABC's 12.

SHOW 1: BIG BANG THEORY
Guess: 2 geeky college friends are looking for a third roommate and a hot ditzy blonde moves in; the two friends battle over her love in a typical New York City romance.
Actual: "Two geniuses get lucky when a beautiful young woman moves in next door and decides to teach them a few things about the world outside of physics."
Verdict: Spot on.

SHOW 2: CANE
Guess: Jimmy Smits plays the mayor of a small sailing town in California, and must deal with his teenage daughter's love life and the volatile politics of small-town America.
Actual: "A South Florida family runs their successful rum and sugar business while dealing with both professional and personal turmoil."
Verdict: Not very good…I picked the wrong state for a leading Hispanic male actor.

SHOW 3: KID NATION
Guess: This show already looks dreadful. A group of children who live with their divorced parents in the suburbs band together to prevent their enemies in the world, the principal and the big bully down the street, from ruining their friendship.
Actual: "Forty kids between the ages of 8 and 15 are given 40 days to build a new community -- complete with their own cooking, businesses and government -- in the ghost town of Bonanza City, New Mexico."
Verdict: Dammit, I didn't realize this was going to be a reality show. I forgot those are in the mix here, and I totally would have gone a different route. Wrong again.

SHOW 4: MOONLIGHT
Guess: An up-and-coming private attorney in New York decides that money isn't everything and chooses to devote his life to helping out the homeless.
Actual: "A vampire for 60 years, Mick St. James works as a private investigator, dealing with the difficulties of immortality, a slew of undead adversaries and his love for a mortal woman."
Verdict: Shoot. Didn't see that one coming. Mick St. James is a typical bad name for a show like this, though.

SHOW 5: VIVA LAUGHLIN
No picture. Drat. Some dramedusical bastardization produced by Hugh Jackman and set in Las Vegas. Sounds too high-concept to me.

SHOW 6: SWINGTOWN
Guess: A period-series based in the 1970s about a factory-worker dad and how he copes with the changing times.
Actual: "Residents of a Chicago suburb in the '70s are into couple swapping, open marriages and key parties, but they soon come to realize that their alternative lifestyle comes with its own complications."
Verdict: I got the era right, and the whole "changing times" thing. Will a show about swingers really be successful? I'm skeptical.

Finale Results: I was terrible this time around. Do any of these shows look appealing to you? If the Jimmy Smits show enters Scarface territory, being dark and twisted, I could see that being good. I do love my rum. Otherwise, CBS should just stick to its predictable procedural dramas and unfortunately popular sit-coms.